perfectionism Archives

Another 5 Things I’ve Learned About Life Through Mountain Biking

When you open your mind to learning and growing, you discover opportunities everywhere around you. Over the past ten years, mountain biking has become a parallel universe for me to learn about myself and the world around me. As my enthusiasm for this style of learning has developed, so too has my love of mountain biking. I wanted to share my excitement with everyone around me and so I began my blog, Daisy Spoke. And my very first post in Daisy Spoke was “5 Things I’ve Learned About Life Through Mountain Biking”.

So ….. now here at last are another five ways that mountain biking has helped me to keep learning and growing as an individual!

1. Look up

I instinctively look straight down in front of me when I ride my bike. This means I wobble a lot and react to every little lump and bump in the terrain. Having a one way staring competition with the trail right in front of me does me no favours. My imagination fixates on small details that don’t really matter. I didn’t even realise this was happening until I learnt at a coaching session the importance of looking up, to keep my eyes focused further along the track. This gets me into flow and enjoying a smoother, more connected ride. I’m still learning to trust myself, to have confidence that my brain has registered the terrain directly in front of me and that my body will know how to handle it. Every ride is a reminder to keep my sights focused ahead in all areas of my life – my work, my personal life, and my riding!

2. Absorb the bumps

Absorbing the bumps while mountain biking — Photo from Chicks in the Sticks 2017

The bumps and jumps are all part of the fun of mountain biking – in fact a very large part of it! But it’s taken me a long time to see it that way. Fear of falling and lack of confidence creates tension which in turn leads to a rigid framework, sore muscles and stiff joints at the end of a ride. Learning to relax my stance and go with the bumps instead of resisting them is an ongoing process. Mountain biking gives me the opportunity to experience a sense of lightness instead of a sense of lack of control. I can visualise my legs as natural built-in shock absorbers. With improved inner resilience, or bounce-ability, I’m also able to relax a bit more in life in general, to see past the hiccups, and rise above the challenges.

3. Move around

Having ridden mostly on smooth paved surfaces like roads and bicycle paths for most of my life, it’s been a huge learning curve getting onto mountain bike trails. You need to move your weight around constantly adjusting for the ever-changing terrain. Forward and back, side to side, up and down, as well as every possible combination of these movements. The hard lesson is that if you don’t shift your weight around you can’t get up that hill, or down that steep slope, or round that tight corner. Riding can quickly turn into hike-a-bike (which isn’t much fun) or hitting the ground (which also isn’t much fun). So when I ride I try to be conscious of how I move my body – above and around my bike frame. As in life, the more you move around, the more fun you’ll have and the healthier you’ll be.

4. Be present in the moment

Mindful concentration while mountain biking — Photo from Chicks in the Sticks 2016

A distracted mind is on a road to mishap. At least, that’s my experience on my mountain bike and life in general. On my bike, the terrain is constantly changing and I need to keep my wits about me at all times. When I tune my sensory antennae into the environment around me, I’m fully present in the here and now. At least that’s the theory! The reality is that sometimes when I’m riding my mind wanders off and suddenly, oops, there it is, a rut the size of the Grand Canyon about to swallow me and my bike. It’s an ongoing learning process of training my brain to come back to the present, Not only does this make me safer on my bike, the ride is heaps more fun too. The same technique applied to other areas of life can lead to more satisfying relationships, more efficient and effective business decisions, and reduced anxiety.

5. Keep trying!

Throughout life I’ve tended to focus my energy and attention on things that come most easily to me. If I couldn’t do something perfectly the first time, I’d usually move on to the next thing fairly quickly. As far as mountain biking goes, I’d had a few short rides on unpaved paths and paddocks over the years but didn’t develop much interest in “that kind of riding”. I’d fallen off a few times so there wasn’t a lot of incentive to keep going, so my bike tended to stay in the garage most of the time. A few years ago I decided to give it another go. Maybe there was an inner knowing that it would open up a whole new world to me, that there was much more to be gained from riding than simply mountain biking skills. With the support of my Courage Coach, I learned to develop persistence and this has had a profound impact on me. I’ve discovered how valuable persistence can be when life gets tough and I feel like giving up. Persistence speaks to that fiercely determined part of my soul and keeps me trying, practising, modifying, trying again, and finding ways to bring my hopes and dreams into reality. I’ve learned that I can work really hard at things that don’t come naturally to me and to experience immense satisfaction from that!

Read PART 1 of this article (my very first ever blog post!) “5 Things I’ve Learned About Life Through Mountain Biking” including:

Look where you want to go
Lean into what you most fear
Going slow is ok
Take a break when you need it
Practice, practice, practice

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

Breaking and creating habits

Have you ever tried to break a habit or create a new one? That’s probably all of us! There are some habits that are clearly unhelpful, and these are the ones we most often focus on – the ‘doing’ habits like smoking, sedentary behaviour, eating junk food, and going to bed late. But what about those less obvious ‘thinking’ habits. The ones that have us locked into a bad mood, overreacting, overthinking, leaving things to the last minute, being defensive, using avoidance tactics, personalising, blaming and so on. The way we habitually think forms part of everything we do and we’re often not conscious of it. But when we want to create long-lasting change, it’s vital to look at changing the way we think, and not only focus on the way we are ‘doing’ things.

Here are four tips to help you break an old habit and create a new one by focusing on new actions, and new ways of thinking.

1. You are never too old to change

No matter your age, you an always make a change. Don’t accept excuses such as “I’m too old”. Your mind’s attitude to learning plays a large part in how capable you are of breaking and creating habits. With an open attitude and willingness to try, learning a new trick is always possible. For example, even though I’d been riding bicycles since I was a young child, it wasn’t till I was in my middle age that I decided to have a go at mountain biking. What I discovered is that you need a whole new set of skills to ride mountain bikes compared to riding on paved surfaces. Not only did my body have to work differently, but my mind as well. Mountain biking has been one of the biggest learning curves in my life. I’ve been confronted with physical and mental and emotional challenges that would have been so easy to walk away from. But I kept going and little by little my skills have progressed and I’ve learned to handle some pretty big fears along the way. I’m living proof that it’s definitely possible for an oldie to learn new tricks. For some remarkable examples of how the brain can change and adapt to new challenges, have a read of Norman Doidge’s book “The Brain That Changes Itself”.

2. Change can take its time – often a long time!

In a world that encourages immediate gratification and demands fast results, focusing on longer term goals can be seen as rebellious. Quick-fix solutions are promoted all around us – get a toned body in only 10 minutes a day, lose your baby weight in 30 days, go from a $0 to 7 figure business in less than 12 months. But the reality is that sustainable, healthy change usually takes place over a longer period of time. Quit expecting immediate results when you take up a new habit or give up an old one. Real change takes time! Research shows that when we take up a new habit we need to practise it regularly for at least three weeks, and in many cases we need to allow two to three months or more to feel the benefits, or at least to feel at ease with our new way of doing things.

3. Patience, practice and persistence – not perfectionism!

If you’re anything like me, you just want to be able to do everything perfectly straight away. And if that doesn’t happen it’s so easy to give up. We can make all the excuses under the sun about why we’re not having success, but the reality is often that if we’re patient, practise a lot, persist with the discomfort, and let go of our need for perfectionism, we’re much more likely to have success. Personally I’ve find it very helpful to listen to what my inner voice is telling me when I get the urge to throw in the towel. That leads me to question why giving up is so important at that moment, and what would be the value of persisting. Then I look at what skills and strategies I need to use to achieve success. Read about how I used practice and persistence to rediscover my joys of mountain biking in one of my past blogs. Patience, practice and persistence are definite winners!

4. Focus on what you DO want, not what you don’t want

One of the trickiest things about reducing or quitting a habit (like cigarettes, chocolate, or social media) is that we focus our minds on what we’re missing out on. To demonstrate the power of this focusing technique I tell my clients “For the next 2 minutes you are NOT to think about the green dragon behind you.” I set the timer and give them occasional reminders to NOT think about the green dragon. The same thing happens when we keep telling ourselves “Don’t think about cigarettes / chocolate / Facebook …..” It’s really, really hard to achieve success unless we focus on what we DO want – the NEW habit or behaviour that we want to develop. You could try saying “Time for a walk round the block … time for my fresh fruit and yoghurt … let’s give Mum a call …” Focusing on what you don’t want is counterproductive. Focusing on what you DO want is a winning style of thinking. You can read more about looking where you want to go in my very first blog from 2 years ago.

There are many more tips and tricks for helping you to break a habit or create a new one, but these four strategies will get you started with a powerful attitude that will guide the behaviour choices you make, and increase your chances of success!

Let's sum up habit

1. You are never too old to change

2. Change can take its time – often a long time!

3. Patience, practice and persistence – not perfectionism!

4. Focus on what you DO want, not what you don’t want

My MTB Experiment: Part 2

So, The Great MTB Experiment has progressed through the first week ….. and how’s it going?

So far, I’ve managed to fall off my bike and get back up again with a few bruises and scrapes and a strained muscle in my chest. Nothing too bad really if you ignore the fact that I was aiming to improve my confidence through increasing my time on the bike!

And then there have been a couple of snakes, continuous heat for a couple of weeks in the high 30’s (deg C), and everyone everywhere is tired (including me).

But I’ve stuck at it and although I have questioned myself MANY times, and reasoned logically why I shouldn’t be bothered, I’ve kept my commitment. And so far I’m glad I have!

Have a listen here:

“Be Prepared” to learn anything!

croppedpurpledaisies

“Be prepared” – a familiar and valuable motto in life that I first came to know through my involvement in the Guiding and Scouting movements as a young person. Little did I know back then that as an adult I would still be learning lessons based on those 2 simple words.

After signing up for my very ﬁrst mountain bike event recently, I threw myself into Preparation Phase. I knew I had my work cut out for me to get race-ready. I was worried about being incompetent on the course, exhausted before the end of the event, and scared of the technical sections and the race experience in general. But … I was up for the challenge and immersed myself in a process which smoothed the path and built up layers of skill, excitement and conﬁdence.

mtb-kw

My preparation plan was more than a physical training plan. Sure, it included some much needed skills training and practice, enduran ce training, trialling nutrition options, and ensuring plenty of hydration and sleep in the lead up to the event. However, being aware that my mental preparation was also in dire need of attention (note the above references to being worried and scared!), I had a serious examination of my inner voices, then developed a plan to optimise them. I wanted my head to work for me not against me. My experience with mountain biking so far had highlighted just how critical and limiting I can be towards myself and this was deﬁnitely not helpful at all. I needed to ﬁnd a way to deal with that before I could even get myself onto a race course – literally!

So, my mental preparation plan included:

Learning to speak to myself in encouraging ways
Developing a growth mind set (the modern term for having an attitude of ﬂexibility, openness, readiness to learn, readiness to ask questions as opposed to a closed mindset in which skills are considered innate)
Challenging my urge to perfectly accomplish any task I attempt the ﬁrst time and to implement my skills in persistence instead
Setting a race goal for myself that is aligned with my values and conducive to a constructive mindset
Getting out of my comfort zone to ask people questions about the event, technical skills training, physical training tips, nutrition, hydration etc etc
Reading forums and articles about women’s cycling, women’s MTB events and races, newbie racing, and dealing with race day nerves.

I discovered that:

I can, in fact, make choices about which inner voices I listen to
I have the capacity to persist, practise, learn and improve
People enjoy sharing their knowledge and skills with others
I can ask questions, be heard and understood
Goals don’t have to be outcomes-based – I can choose to focus on the process and experience instead
Just about everyone else has a story to tell about being scared, worried and feeling unprepared for racing

funatthestart

So thanks Baden Powell for giving me such a great childhood foundation to build upon as an adult. I’m inspired to reﬂect how much I’ve learnt from what seems like a simple process of preparing for a race, but in fact goes well beyond that into all areas of my life. Bring on the next challenge! I’m prepared to discover new, exciting and surprising ways in which I can continue to learn and grow in life!

grapeleavesalwaysgrowinglearning