habit Archives

How to get motivated to get outdoors

Today we’re diving back into the topic of motivation which is always a very popular theme when it comes to anything that feels like hard work including exercise. I’ve previously written about how to get motivated for exercise so this time we’re going to explore motivation from a different but related perspective – how to get motivated to get outdoors more often.

The outdoors can help you get more movement into your day

The thought of exercise can be overwhelming. Some people really don’t like it and some people struggle to get into a regular routine because of health, mobility or medical issues. Perhaps you’re one of them. Or maybe there’s another reason that you struggle with exercise. But ….. did you know that the most important thing – even more than exercise – is movement?!

Exercise is fabulous for so many reasons, and yes, I’m passionate about this topic, but it’s absolutely critical that exercise is built on a strong foundation of general movement right throughout the day. Here’s where nature can help you if you struggle with either exercise, or generally being active and moving around more. When you include contact with nature in your daily routine, you’ll get outdoors more often, move more, sit less, and you’ll find joy in life and joy in connecting with nature. Your body will also benefit from the boost of Vitamin D it gets when you get outside into the sunshine.

Find your own reason to get outdoors

If you do find it difficult to get outdoors and into nature, even though you know it’s good for you, try to find another reason or a purpose for going outside. It’s much better to feel positive and drawn towards it than feeling like you ‘should’ or ‘have to’.

Grow potted plants or a garden

You could try growing some plants in pots or in a garden if you have enough space. Or you could have a go at growing salad greens and herbs in your kitchen. Plants can give you a reason to get up and get active when you look forward to nurturing and harvesting them. Checking on your plants every day gets you into a habit of connecting with nature. It helps you to get a daily routine going. Over time you can watch your plant habitat expand and before you know it there’ll be insects, butterflies, birds, bees, frogs and even spiders all sharing the space with your plants (especially if they’re outside) which is a sign of a healthy micro-habitat.

Look Out and Up

If growing plants is not your thing, you can still look for another reason or purpose to get outdoors and connect with nature that’s meaningful for you. Even if going outside is not an option, you can create a routine of looking out a window, for example, at birds as they fly by. Perhaps they’re searching for food, nesting or calling out to each other. Or you can look up at the clouds and notice their movement. Clouds never seem to stay still. They constantly morph from one shape, colour and texture to another.

Nature Walks and Journals

Are you up for a little more activity than simply observing what’s around? You could aim for a daily walk to a nature strip or park and notice the changes in your surroundings each day. Some of them will be obvious, and others much more subtle. It can get you wondering what changes you’ll see tomorrow when you next come back. You can make a mental note of the changes, or you might enjoy keeping a journal of what you see and hear on your outings. In your journal you can use words, but you can also use images. You might like to take a series of photos of something growing or changing, or keep some audio recordings of the sounds you hear in nature.

Learn and Grow

Take your noticing and journalling one step further by tapping into the resources in your community or on the Internet so that you learn more about nature and the outdoors. You can use bird and plant identification apps and books, online interest groups such as the Outdoors is my Therapy Facebook Group, clubs and you can simply ask other people what they know about the things you’ve seen or heard.

Set Yourself a Challenge

Staying motivated with your habit of regularly getting outdoors can be helped along by setting a challenge for yourself. This could include committing to a daily garden check or recording the birds you see for a week. Set a specific time of the day to do this that will work for you. For example, if you’re usually up and about early or spend time winding down after a day at work in the late afternoon, these would be ideal times to do a bird check because that’s when many birds are most active.

Notice the Little Treasures That Tell a Story

Don’t forget that the little things in nature can also help you get motivated to establish a daily routine of getting outdoors. Have you ever been the first person to walk through a cobweb as you explore the park or bushland? I certainly have! I don’t like the feeling of sticky cobweb across my face and the panic of wondering if there’s a spider clinging to my back, but I am constantly amazed at how the spider can rebuild the web overnight and there it is the next day, stretched across the same bit of walking trail.

If you find something like this in your local area whether it’s a cobweb, a little cluster of flowers, an ant hole, a tree with buds, a creek weir, or whatever it is, check on it every day to see what you can see. You will discover the secret life of the natural world all around you when you take a few moments to pause and notice.

Over time, these little discoveries will tell you a story. A story that will compel you to keep coming back day after day so you can see, hear, smell, taste and touch the next chapter.

What motivates you to get outdoors?

Some of us are motivated to get outdoors simply for health reasons. Some of us are not. But perhaps you will be motivated to see what’s calling for your attention outdoors once you get to know it better and discover nature’s secrets in your local neighbourhood. Too often we focus on the big, obvious things in life. I encourage you to focus on developing small habits – small changes to your routine. Look for the little treasures and let the motivation flow in its own time.

If you would like more motivation and inspiration to connect with the outdoors, subscribe to my newsletter Grounded Inspiration.

Listen to the audio version of this post in the Outdoors is my Therapy Podcast Episode 25!

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections that inform, inspire and empower women to a healthy and active lifestyle.

How to get into the habit of spending time outdoors

Have you been trying to get outdoors and spend more time in nature lately? It seems people are increasingly wanting to connect with the outdoors but I think it’s important to look at the longer term picture. How can you make sure that spending time in the outdoors becomes an ongoing habit and not just a passing phase as you react to COVID-19 restrictions? For some of us getting out into nature is a new habit we want to create, for others it’s more about changing the outdoors routine we previously had to fit with our changing world.

The benefits of connecting with nature are infinite – mental, physical, spiritual, social, environmental. If you believe in these benefits, then you’re more likely to invest time and energy into getting outside, and it will become your priority. You’ll need to get your mindset and your body working together to create a few healthy daily habits that will become part of your routine.

In this blog post I’m sharing some practical and proven strategies that you can use to get your mind and body working together for your own health and happiness.

Focus on what you DO want

Get your mind and body working together!

When it comes to habits, clearly some habits are more helpful and others are less helpful to living a healthy, fulfilled life. We know that nature has many benefits but like all ‘healthy’ things, creating the habit of getting outside daily is easier said than done. If going outside seems like a punishment, then you’re probably not going to be terribly excited about it. But if you have a deep belief that investing time and energy in the outdoors has great rewards (such as freedom, a sense of calm, or fun) then you’re halfway there already! This mindset shift can go a long way to making it a priority in your day and creating the new habit.

If time is an issue for you, or even if it isn’t, spending time outdoors can be combined with other activities such as meetings, exercising, studying and socialising.

You can’t rely solely on a great mindset though. You’ll need to take action too. Creating new habits requires a combined effort from your mind and your body. New habits can take a lot of work at first because it’s easier for your brain to keep doing the same old thing rather than changing. But it’s important to stick at it because habits take time.

creating new habits

Practical strategies to get outdoors

So, how can you get your mind and body working together on your new habit of spending time outdoors? Here are some practical suggestions:

Gather a tribe of people around you who already have an established routine of getting outside. You might find your tribe amongst your existing friends or networks, otherwise you can join a club or an online group who enjoy the same sorts of activities as you. The Outdoors is my Therapy Facebook Group inspires its members to spend time outdoors each day.
Spend time outdoors doing what you enjoy, and then find ways to do that more often or in new places.
Make your habit of spending time outdoors easy and do-able. Minimise the impact of the obstacles so that it’s harder NOT to do it! Get yourself organised ahead of time and don’t over-complicate it. You can ask yourself “If it was simple to get out there, how would it look? What would I be doing?”
Be creative and flexible. If you can’t find a way to spend time outdoors, find a way to bring nature inside.
Use logic and reason. Read up on the research that tells you all about the benefits of spending time in nature and the effects of Nature Deficit Disorder.
Give it time. Habits take time to develop so don’t give up if it doesn’t work out straight away. As challenges arise you can adjust, modify or adapt your plans. You can also ask for help and creatively problem-solve the difficulties.
Focus on what’s important to you about spending time outdoors. Is it fun, health, socialising, freedom or something else?
What’s your self-talk like? What do you believe about nature, exercise, spending time outside, relaxing, being active and being still? What are you telling yourself about your own worth and how you “should” spend your time and energy? How is that affecting your actions?
There is a lot of research and many popular books about creating and keeping habits. There’s no one ‘right’ way. You’ll need to experiment with strategies like those listed here to find what works for you.

create a habit of getting outdoors

What’s your story?

Do you have a story about how you’ve successfully developed a regular habit of spending time outdoors? I’d love to hear from you and feature some of your stories in future blogs and podcast episodes to help others in the same situation get past the obstacles that get in the way.

Till next time, enjoy your outdoor adventures!

Tips to getting motivated to exercise

If you ever have difficulty getting motivated to exercise, then you need to read these tips!

Motivation is like a part-time friend

“I know I should exercise, but I just don’t feel motivated” is a very common problem. There can be a big gap between knowing what’s good for you, and actually doing it. It’s easy to allow excuses to creep into your life. They become blocks or obstacles to your own health care – it’s a form of self-sabotage. The point is you can’t wait till you feel motivated, and you can’t rely on motivation to keep your exercise routines in place. Motivation is a fickle feeling! It comes and goes like a part-time friend who is sometimes there in your hour of need, but is often nowhere to be seen or heard.

Commitment, not motivation will see you through

If you can’t rely on motivation, then what can you rely on? What’s going to keep you on track to living the health-filled life you want? You need to get real, cut to the core and examine your values, your priorities and the choices you’re making.

If health is one of your values, if it’s very important to you, you’ll make sure that it’s a priority and you’ll take actions that reflect that. For example, when you have to make a choice between exercising and something else such as staying in bed, watching TV or scrolling through social media, you have an opportunity to prioritise what’s most important to you.

So, what’s on your priority list for today?

What’s on your priority list right at this moment?

Where does exercise rank on your actual (not theoretical) list of priorities?

If you’ve identified that health is high on your priority list you need to be committed to it. Commitment, not motivation, will get you to take action. Keep your commitment to exercise as your focus whenever you need to choose how you spend your time and energy.

Tips for staying committed to exercise

Remind yourself that exercise benefits not only yourself (your physical health and mood) but also those around you. Be the role model you’d like your family and friends to have.
Have a good look at your daily routine and identify the best time and space for your exercise. It has to be doable and work for you in your situation. Don’t give up – changing routines and creating new habits can take a few weeks to settle in.
Find or create a tribe of other people who also value exercising. Join a club or online group that shares your goals and can help you stay on track when things get tough.
Get an exercise buddy so you’re accountable to someone else.
Schedule your exercise into your diary and let others around you know your plans.
Organise yourself by getting your clothes and equipment ready the night before and making sure your plans (eg child care, maps, meeting points) are all sorted.
Pay ahead for your exercise program eg buy a multi-use pass for a swimming pool, gym or yoga classes.
If your day doesn’t go as planned, don’t opt out of exercise altogether – a 10 minute walk is better than nothing. Doing nothing one day easily leads to doing nothing the next day.
Reward yourself for being consistent with your commitment but make sure your reward doesn’t sabotage your efforts. You could reward yourself with some new exercise kit rather than with a cream bun and coke.
Use a calendar, chart or exercise journal to document your commitment and progress.
Use technology to plan, record (and share if you like) your efforts. There are many apps and devices that can record your steps, mileage and heart rate for example. But if you find yourself stressing or obsessing over them, give them the flick. They’re intended to be an aid not a burden.
Exercise can become a bit ho-hum after the novelty wears off or when your body has adapted to the intensity and type of exercise you’re doing. Make sure you change it up occasionally to keep your physical and mental health progressing not stalling. See a personal trainer for a new workout, aim for a mix of indoor and outdoor exercise, go walking with a friend, swim in the ocean instead of the pool, dig a new garden bed or do some fencing as a change from lifting weights.
See yourself as someone on a progressive health journey who values exercise and nutrition rather than focusing on weight loss or physical weakness.
Use an indoor exercise training plan throughout the week to prepare yourself for a challenging outdoor adventure on the weekend.
If your exercise session seems too long, too hard or too boring, break it up into segments or sets. Tell yourself “Just get to that next big tree then you can have a rest” and repeat it till you get to the top. Or if you’re swimming, change your stroke every 10 minutes. Or simply stop and give yourself a pat on the back at intervals.
Set yourself a fitness goal such as entering an event, scaling a mountain you’ve had your eye on for ages, or going on one bush walk every week. Then take little steps towards your goal.
The best type of exercise is the one you enjoy because it’ll have you going back again and again. Put your worries about what other people might think out of your mind and do what works for you.
On those days that exercise seems really hard, focus on something enjoyable or pleasurable in your experience. It might be some little flowers growing in the grass, wispy clouds, a soft breeze, the rhythmic beat of your heart, or the strength you can feel in your leg muscles.
Sign up for a community challenge such as a charity fundraiser or an online challenge to walk or ride or swim a certain number of kilometres in a month.
Take notice of any injuries and seek expert help before they become a problem.
Be firm but gentle with yourself. If you’re tired and carrying extra stress, review and adjust your exercise program to suit. If you’re just a bit tired or feeling blah, remember that exercise gives you energy and improves sleep and attention.
Use visual reminders about your commitment to exercise. Display them as a wallpaper for your computer or phone, stick one on your bathroom mirror, or hang a printed photo or quote in your workspace that keeps you inspired.

The ‘getting motivated to exercise’ trap

Above all, don’t fall into the ‘getting motivated to exercise’ trap. Stay committed to your values and your priorities. Make intentional choices and take deliberate action. Then you’ll savour the benefits of exercise and you’ll be able to let go of your attachment to motivation.

Personal coaching to stay inspired and committed

Would you like support to tap into your values, work towards a personal goal, overcome the messy obstacles that get in the way, and live your best life? My personal coaching program may be just what you need. Contact me for more information.

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in ‘Daisy Spoke’ that inform, inspire and empower women to a healthy and active lifestyle.

Breaking and creating habits

Have you ever tried to break a habit or create a new one? That’s probably all of us! There are some habits that are clearly unhelpful, and these are the ones we most often focus on – the ‘doing’ habits like smoking, sedentary behaviour, eating junk food, and going to bed late. But what about those less obvious ‘thinking’ habits. The ones that have us locked into a bad mood, overreacting, overthinking, leaving things to the last minute, being defensive, using avoidance tactics, personalising, blaming and so on. The way we habitually think forms part of everything we do and we’re often not conscious of it. But when we want to create long-lasting change, it’s vital to look at changing the way we think, and not only focus on the way we are ‘doing’ things.

Here are four tips to help you break an old habit and create a new one by focusing on new actions, and new ways of thinking.

1. You are never too old to change

No matter your age, you an always make a change. Don’t accept excuses such as “I’m too old”. Your mind’s attitude to learning plays a large part in how capable you are of breaking and creating habits. With an open attitude and willingness to try, learning a new trick is always possible. For example, even though I’d been riding bicycles since I was a young child, it wasn’t till I was in my middle age that I decided to have a go at mountain biking. What I discovered is that you need a whole new set of skills to ride mountain bikes compared to riding on paved surfaces. Not only did my body have to work differently, but my mind as well. Mountain biking has been one of the biggest learning curves in my life. I’ve been confronted with physical and mental and emotional challenges that would have been so easy to walk away from. But I kept going and little by little my skills have progressed and I’ve learned to handle some pretty big fears along the way. I’m living proof that it’s definitely possible for an oldie to learn new tricks. For some remarkable examples of how the brain can change and adapt to new challenges, have a read of Norman Doidge’s book “The Brain That Changes Itself”.

2. Change can take its time – often a long time!

In a world that encourages immediate gratification and demands fast results, focusing on longer term goals can be seen as rebellious. Quick-fix solutions are promoted all around us – get a toned body in only 10 minutes a day, lose your baby weight in 30 days, go from a $0 to 7 figure business in less than 12 months. But the reality is that sustainable, healthy change usually takes place over a longer period of time. Quit expecting immediate results when you take up a new habit or give up an old one. Real change takes time! Research shows that when we take up a new habit we need to practise it regularly for at least three weeks, and in many cases we need to allow two to three months or more to feel the benefits, or at least to feel at ease with our new way of doing things.

3. Patience, practice and persistence – not perfectionism!

If you’re anything like me, you just want to be able to do everything perfectly straight away. And if that doesn’t happen it’s so easy to give up. We can make all the excuses under the sun about why we’re not having success, but the reality is often that if we’re patient, practise a lot, persist with the discomfort, and let go of our need for perfectionism, we’re much more likely to have success. Personally I’ve find it very helpful to listen to what my inner voice is telling me when I get the urge to throw in the towel. That leads me to question why giving up is so important at that moment, and what would be the value of persisting. Then I look at what skills and strategies I need to use to achieve success. Read about how I used practice and persistence to rediscover my joys of mountain biking in one of my past blogs. Patience, practice and persistence are definite winners!

4. Focus on what you DO want, not what you don’t want

One of the trickiest things about reducing or quitting a habit (like cigarettes, chocolate, or social media) is that we focus our minds on what we’re missing out on. To demonstrate the power of this focusing technique I tell my clients “For the next 2 minutes you are NOT to think about the green dragon behind you.” I set the timer and give them occasional reminders to NOT think about the green dragon. The same thing happens when we keep telling ourselves “Don’t think about cigarettes / chocolate / Facebook …..” It’s really, really hard to achieve success unless we focus on what we DO want – the NEW habit or behaviour that we want to develop. You could try saying “Time for a walk round the block … time for my fresh fruit and yoghurt … let’s give Mum a call …” Focusing on what you don’t want is counterproductive. Focusing on what you DO want is a winning style of thinking. You can read more about looking where you want to go in my very first blog from 2 years ago.

There are many more tips and tricks for helping you to break a habit or create a new one, but these four strategies will get you started with a powerful attitude that will guide the behaviour choices you make, and increase your chances of success!

Let's sum up habit

1. You are never too old to change

2. Change can take its time – often a long time!

3. Patience, practice and persistence – not perfectionism!

4. Focus on what you DO want, not what you don’t want

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

How to Manage Habits That Creep Into Your Life

There are so many life lessons I’ve learned from nature – pest management (aka “managing the habits that creep into your life”) is the latest one. This year we’ve been making a concerted effort to manage some of the unwanted weeds on our property, in particular tree pears. It’s taken a considerable investment of time, hard work, money and resources to uncover the best way to deal with them. It’s also got me thinking about personal habits that creep into our lives, and what we can do to manage those sorts of weeds and pests.

Pests have always been around

We’ve lived on our small bush property for many years. We’ve always had a few pests here and there but haven’t been overly concerned about them. They’ve had little impact on everything else so we haven’t considered them a problem. In the past we had a few cows and sheep grazing the grass. We’ve had no grazing stock for nearly 10 years now due to ongoing drought conditions. Even though I miss seeing those big beautiful cow eyes looking back at me, we’ve actually gained a lot of satisfaction from watching the native plants regenerate as a result. We’ve also relished the opportunity to make use of the land in other ways such as building mountain bike trails throughout the property.

The problem pest at my place

Apart from reduced stock, altered land use and drought conditions, other changes have Cactus Tree Pear also gradually taken place – changes that we were blinded to until they became quite obvious and problematic. Tree pear is one of these changes. It has rapidly multiplied in the recent conditions. Not long ago it was a fairly insignificant pest, kept in balance by naturally occurring biological controls. Now it’s dominating the landscape. It very easily and quickly multiplies, so we now have a dense covering of tree pear of all sizes. Its growth rate is amazing and it thrives in the harsh conditions.

Managing the pest

Mature Tree Pear Uncovering how best to manage this pest has been exhausting, taking lots of hours, energy, research and trial and error. We’ve learned how critical it is to choose the ‘right’ strategy – the difference between getting numbers of tree pear manageable again, or increasing their numbers even more! They’re incredibly tough and resilient – I’ve got to admire them for that! We’ve persisted with our management strategy because we want to live in a balanced way, minimising the impact of our own lifestyle, and supporting environmental sustainability. It’s taken nearly 12 months to reach the point where we can see a positive outcome ahead. And we’ve learned lessons about keeping a closer eye on the pests out there and intervening earlier rather than later.

Habits can be like weeds and pests

Unwanted habits can silently creep into our lives in the same way that the tree pear and other weeds and pests gradually take over tracts of land and impact the overall health of the environment. The habits can slowly, quietly and destructively begin to dominate your life in various ways. The damage shows up as it impacts your relationships, health and confidence. Reestablishing healthier habits requires a hard sustained effort over time, but the secret is in actually noticing that there is a problem in the first place.

Audit your life

In the same way that it can be helpful to regularly have a good look around your property to check for pests and unwanted changes, it’s also vital that we review our personal habits from time to time. It’s often only when a crisis takes place that we take the time to do this, but it’s a healthy practice for any of us even when things seem to be going smoothly. When we take the time to reflect, notice and make adjustments, we are better able to keep on top of the pesky habits that impact negatively on ourselves, our relationships and the world around us.

Questions to ask yourself

You don’t have to run away to the quiet of the desert or the tranquility of the mountains to review your life (although if you have the opportunity that could be amazing!) A more practical way for most of us is to simply take a few moments, or even a couple of hours, to ask ourselves a few questions. You might find it helpful to write your reflections down in a journal, make some art work about the topic, or have a conversation about these issues with a trusted person.

1. What have I got in my life that’s working for me?

2. What is not working so well in my life?

3. What is one action I could take that would make the biggest difference?

4. How can I make sure I follow through on that action?

5. What can I let go of?

6. What do I need to keep?

Change can be challenging

Even desired change can be very challenging and unsettling. We can experience a conflict of values, a simultaneous push and pull towards and away from the change. We might sense resistance from people and situations around us, as well as our own internal resistance. Be prepared for this, and push past the prickly bits!

Early intervention is best

Small cactus And so as I walk and run my home trails, I’ve been much more aware of the little cactus popping up. I’ve been investing a little bit of time and energy to carefully prise them out when I see them, right there and then. I’ve learned the hard way that this is a much easier and more effective way of dealing with the problem. Burying your head in the sand and avoiding seeing the issue for what it really is, only makes the problem bigger and more difficult over time. Sometimes those unhealthy unhelpful habits just seem to creep into our lives but with greater diligence and readiness to take action, we can keep them in their place, and maintain a more balanced life.

VLOG (Video Blog)

Did you know that I have a You Tube channel? Over the coming months I’ll be regularly posting videos and VLOGS over there. You can watch my latest VLOG on managing the pesky habits in your life by clicking here!

Recipe for Success and Happiness: getting the mix right!

If you pick up a newspaper or magazine, read the news online, or scroll through social media, you’re sure to be confronted with the pros and cons of the eternal pursuit of happiness. It presents a bit like the fad diets that come and go, and it preys on the vulnerable – those of us who think we should / could / would be happier if only ….. And so much of it feels out of our own control.

The fact is that we live in a world of uncertainty, unpredictability and chaos. It’s been this way since the beginning of time and the world of nature continues to operate this way. In humankind’s attempts to bring order and control to the mess we perceive around us and in our internal world, we can be forgiven for expecting to reach utopian happiness once we’ve got everything sorted.

But the world isn’t that co-operative! The world as we know it can change at any time, and our intention to remain cool, calm and collected seemingly go out the window, leaving us feeling even more vulnerable and out of control. Unexpected changes come in many forms including sickness, injury, job loss, relationship upheavals and extreme weather.

Now this is all sounding terribly doom and gloom so far! How can one possibly connect with happiness if there isn’t really any hope of controlling the instability around us? This brings up the question “What is happiness?” and subsequently “Are we looking in the right place?”

Whilst I’m not going to delve any further into those philosophical questions here, I am going to suggest that whatever and wherever happiness is, there are two other critical elements we can focus on that will stand us in good steed when it comes to adapting to the world we live in: the skills to be RESILIENT, and the skills to THRIVE. The important thing to remember is that these are skills that all of us can learn and continue to develop throughout our lives.

Resilience is built upon a solid foundation of self-care. When we are resilient, we have the capacity to not only survive what life throws at us, but to thrive. To be able to flourish in an environment of uncertainty and unpredictability surely leads us towards success and happiness.

It can be very confusing trying to identify the ‘ingredients’ that go together to make the best ‘recipe’ for resilience and happiness – our world is full of distractions and quick-fix ideas. So, here I’d like to offer you some of the action-based ingredients that stand out through the ages and in all parts of world, and that are now backed up by rigorous research. In the next blog I’ll outline some of the very powerful mind-based strategies you can add to your mix to really step into your strength.

Recipe for “Success and Happiness”

Ingredients
1 daily dose of your preferred form of stillness (eg meditation, reflection time, quiet time)
30 – 60 minutes of moderate to high intensity exercise per day (best time is early morning)
A bucket load of physical activity (and limit your sedentary activity)
A pinch of social activity (to your own personal taste)
Lots of water
Food that will serve your body and mind
1 nightly dose of quality sleep
Daily mind challenges
A mixed dose of adventure, fun and laughter

Method
Mix all ingredients together until a satisfying consistency is found. You may need to experiment to get it ‘just right’ for your needs. It is recommended that you regularly review your mixture and adjust as required.

Lastly, “Success and Happiness” is more likely to flourish in an environment where the recipe is shared among others rather than hidden away. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a rut, feeling discouraged or lacking hope, I can guarantee you’re not alone (myself included). The crucial point to remember is that there are always actions we can take to build our resilience, improve our physical and mental strength, and get back on the road to happiness.

I have an EXCITING OFFER for you!
To celebrate the launch of my NEW WEBSITE, you will receive a FREE mini-workbook “Success & Happiness” when you SUBSCRIBE to my email newsletter “Grounded Inspiration”. This mini-workbook will guide you through a simple step-by-step process to create YOUR OWN unique customised recipe that will enhance your RESILIENCE during times of uncertainty and move you towards SUCCESS and HAPPINESS. By choosing and committing to the actions and habits that work FOR you instead of AGAINST you, you will find yourself THRIVING, not just surviving.

So what are you waiting for? Follow this link to SUBSCRIBE and your FREE mini-workbook will be ready for you to download within seconds!

7 Step Action Plan to Conquer Scary Stuff (Part 2)

In Part 1 I explained how I used a 7 Step Action Plan to conquer an irrational fear I had about riding “the scary corner” on my mountain bike. While everybody else seemed to effortlessly glide round the corner at speed and then over or around the craggy rocks as they exited on an uphill slope, I’d turn to hike-a-bike mode. I had previously ridden this corner, but somehow the fear escalated and made me feel very small and incapable.

The Scary Corner is quite photogenic! It really doesn’t look so scary here!

The same 7 Step Action Plan that I used to conquer my fear on “the scary corner” can be applied to other scenarios in ordinary everyday life. Here’s how…..

First of all, what is it that’s got your heart pumping, your mind racing and your stomach churning? Maybe going to a meeting or party where you’re not sure if you know anyone? Going in a lift? Making a phone call that you’ve been dreading? Or something else? Let’s apply the 7 Step Action Plan to your situation:

Walk it through

Think it through calmly. Maybe talk it through with someone. Stay rational, logical and reasonable.

“Is anything missing?”

Are there skills or equipment that will help you be successful? For example, learn how to make small talk, have a dot point list in front of you, play music through your headphones.

Make modifications – physical and / or psychological

Would it help to ask a friend to accompany you, place your chair near the exit, or use the phone on speaker so your hands are free?

Identify your focus

Refocus your attention on what you want to happen, where you want to go, what you want to say, how you want to feel. The scary thoughts or feelings will keep popping up, but don’t give them the attention they are seeking. Keep refocusing.

Practise your exit

Have an exit plan. If things get too much, what will you say, what will you do, where will you go? Knowing there’s a safe and valid way out brings a greater sense of ease and improves your rate of success.

Make your entrance!

This is where you just do it. Every thing’s in place. You have a plan. Trust it. Trust yourself. What’s the worst that could happen now?

Celebrate your growth

Your reward for stepping up to the challenge my be felt internally with a surge of relief or confidence. Or perhaps you’d like to reward yourself in another way.

Remember, everyone feels nervous about something at least some of the time. It’s a normal mechanism designed to keep us safe, but if it’s keeping you small, then it’s time to do something about it. If your nervousness is impacting heavily on your functioning or contributing to ill-health, you can seek support from your GP to access counselling. Counselling is a bit like having a coach provide step-by-step guidelines and support as you learn new skills to achieve your goals.

7 Step Action Plan to Conquer Scary Stuff (Part 1)

I knew I was physically capable of doing it, I’d done it several times in the past. So what was getting in the way of me ACTUALLY doing it NOW??? Over a period of a few months, the idea of riding “the scary corner” on my bike loomed bigger and scarier and I felt worse and worse. I don’t know what had changed in my mind – nothing had changed on the trail, so I figured it was some sort of powerful intra-psychic voodoo playing with my confidence and keeping me feeling small and pathetic. I couldn’t even blame it on a fall or anything like that!

After much soul searching, I made the commitment to myself that I was going to conquer the fear that had irrationally built up in my mind. I really wanted to take charge of my fearful thoughts which seemed to be controlling my actions. It was as if my own thoughts were bullying me. The longer it went on, the worse it became. I knew that if I could get this sorted, I’d be able to transfer the skills and processes to other situations that make me nervous and better manage them as well.

So here’s the 7 Step Action Plan that helped me overcome my fear of riding “the scary corner”:

Walk it through

That’s right. The first thing I did was leave the bike behind, put on my sports shoes, and simply walk the corner – repeatedly! I familiarised myself with every stone, stick and slope. I walked it forwards and backwards. I looked at it from every possible angle. “The scary corner” and myself got to know each other well, and we gradually became friends!

“Is anything missing?”

By getting down close and personal with the scary corner I was able to see that there was, in fact, nothing in it that I couldn’t ride. Tight left bend – check. Six inch drop over a rock – check. Angle of slope – check. Width of trail – not a problem. Nope ….. I wasn’t missing any particular skills apart from the ability to curb the fantastic stories my mind was creating about how scary the corner is! And as for equipment, well my bike is well maintained and more than capable of negotiating this terrain.

Make modifications – physical and / or psychological

I’d been noticing that other people often lowered their seats when descending. I also noticed my own urge to get my weight lower and further back on similar corners on other trails. So, I lowered my saddle and instantly felt a lot more secure about my body position on rough descending trails. This triggered a whole new attitude of positivity and hopefulness.

Identify your focus
Keep your eyes on the sticks, NOT the cactus or the steep slope or the rocks!

Our eyes are naturally drawn towards danger. It’s a protective mechanism which sometimes backfires on us. Mountain biking is often counter-intuitive. If you focus on the obstacle, that’s where you’ll go. To help train my eye away from the steep slope, rocks and trees that I wanted to avoid as I approached the corner, I lined the ground on the right side with small twigs to act as a visual aid (a bit like the white line marking on the road). Then I walked the trail again and again, practising keeping my eye on the twigs and not looking at the stuff I wanted to avoid!

Practise your exit

Practise the technical parts of the exit – keep on track, get over the drop-off, & time your peddling to get past the craggy rocks as you go back uphill!

I now began to think about actually riding the corner. But there were a couple of tricky parts and I noticed a feeling welling up inside me – the fear of getting halfway round the corner then getting trapped because I mightn’t be able to exit properly. I visualised myself falling off on the rocks and knocking my head on a tree as I tumbled down the slope and through the prickly pear. So, I needed to do something to allay my concerns. I set to work practising my exit skills on “the scary corner”. Repeatedly I walked my bike halfway round the corner so I could ride the second half of it only, over the drop-off and carefully navigate between the large protruding rocks, timing my pedal strokes just right so that I didn’t knock myself off. This built a lot more confidence and eliminated a few of the scary factors that had been distracting me.

Make your entrance!
A short steep downhill section between and over the rocks forms the entry to the sharp-ish left hand corner.

Well now that I knew I had it all together in my head and that I could physically do it, all that was left was to make my entrance. Get down low and go, go, go! I think I even remembered to breathe, and suddenly I’d done it! In a brief second or two, I’d successfully navigated “the scary corner” and wondered what all the fuss had been about!

Celebrate your growth

It may seem trivial to other people, and you may be the only one who truly knows what your achievement means to you. But don’t let that stop you from learning, practising, growing, and celebrating. Whatever your style – whoop out loud to the universe, punch the air, pat yourself on the back, or maybe even write a blog about it!

What things make you feel nervous? Maybe going to a meeting or party where you’re not sure if you know anyone? Going in a lift? Making a phone call that you’ve been dreading? How might the 7 Step Action Plan help you to conquer your fear or change a behaviour habit?

Read my next blog post about applying the 7 Step Action Plan to some “everyday scenarios” that commonly get our nerves going and our minds racing.