Adventures are for everyone

I believe that adventures are for everyone. Yet people tell me all sorts of reasons why they don’t or can’t have adventures in their lives.

wild flowers in background with text that says adventures are for everyone

What’s stopping YOU from leading a life of adventure?

The most common reasons people give me are:

  • I’m too old, my adventuring days are long gone
  • I’m not fit / strong / co-ordinated enough
  • I don’t have enough money
  • I’ve got too much pain
  • I’m too scared to do adventurous things
  • I don’t have time
  • I don’t have the energy
  • It looks too hard
  • I can’t leave my children / partner / dependants / pets
  • I can’t have time off work
  • My health won’t allow me
  • I don’t know anyone else who would want to do it
  • I’ll wait till I feel motivated

Acknowledge the obstacles but don’t let excuses paralyse you

people having a picnic on a grassy road verge with bicycles lying down on the grass
Don’t let your fears and lack of confidence stop you from having adventures in life

These are all legitimate issues that need to be acknowledged and talked about. But it’s vital you don’t stop there with simply talking or whingeing. You see, the thing is that whingeing can turn into excuses. Excuses can turn into paralysis because you can’t see a way forward. Being stuck in a rut is no fun and the downward spiral can be terrifying.

The excuses that have paralysed me

I’m writing this post, not only because I’m a mental health social worker and it’s my job to share information that improves your wellbeing. I’m also a human being and I know what it’s like to be sick and in pain and to care for dependants who are sick and in pain. I’ve spent 29 years as a stay at home Mum prioritising my children’s needs above all else, working part-time jobs and building a business around them as they grew up. I know what it’s like to be sleep deprived, devoid of energy, overwhelmed and scared. I’ve often been geographically isolated from friends and didn’t want to go along to activities on my own. Money, fitness and skill have definitely been obstacles to enjoying adventures. And as I get older I’ve had those thoughts of “Hmmm….am I too old for this? Will I hurt myself? Does anyone else my age do this?”

Learn to manage the obstacles

So I’m not anyone special when it comes to adventures. I don’t have any superpowers, and I don’t have any magic fixes but I have learned a lot about the link between mental health and an adventurous mindset. By learning to manage my obstacles I’ve stepped into another world of excitement, confidence and hopefulness and I’d like to share my ideas with you so that you can too. My way of managing my obstacles and excuses may not work for you. After all, we’re all different, so you’ll need to spend some time experimenting to see what works for you.

Are you open to the possibility of adventure? And all the benefits that go with it? Read my blog post about Why You Need To Have An Adventure Goal

Getting past your obstacles

You’ll need to think creatively about your obstacles, those things that get in the way of you having adventures in life. Thinking about the problems in the same old way you always have probably won’t get you anywhere. A great place to start is rethinking your ideas about exactly what an adventure is.

Adventures DON’T have to be physically demanding!

Let’s get the definition straight here – adventures DON’T have to be physically demanding, world record-breaking feats although that’s what we generally think of when we hear the word. These sorts of activities make for dramatic headlines but there’s much more to an adventurous life than that.

Adventures stretch you outside your comfort zone

An adventure is anything you do that challenges yourself in some way. It usually involves an element of RISK (eg physical, emotional or social) and stretches you OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE either a little bit or a lot – and that’s different for everyone. If it makes you feel nervous or excited and is outside your comfort zone, then it’s an adventure! How cool is that! No comparisons with anyone else (or your younger self) shall be entered into! So, no matter your age, gender, time available or what other responsibilities you have in life, there’s a suitable adventure waiting for you.

Every single day is chock full of opportunities for you to choose your own adventure. So let’s get going!

Choose your own adventure!

people looking up at a waterfall
Hiking to a waterfall is a favourite outdoor adventure

We’ve established that adventures don’t have to be crazy headlining stunts, and that there are opportunities in our everyday lives to experience adventure. Now it’s time to discover some adventures that are just right for you – no matter your age, fitness level, areas of interest or ability. Remember, you need to choose your adventures based on what makes you feel a bit excited or nervous and that’s slightly outside your comfort zone. So grab a notepad and pen, and as you read through the list below, allow yourself to be inspired to create a list of adventures you’d consider taking on this year.

Social Adventures

Contact an old friend
Join a club or social group
Invite someone over for a cuppa
Go to a class and learn a new skill
Connect with an online group
Research your family history
Volunteer at an event or fundraiser
Organise an outing with friends
Meet a friend at a cafe
Go to a conference or community event
Go to a festival you haven’t been to before
Organise a meet-up of extended family, friends or colleagues
Throw a party or have a family picnic

Physical Adventures

Learn a new sport
Join a sporting or exercise club or group
Climb a mountain
Go on a multi-day hike
Try white water rafting
Enter a race
Participate in a charity walk
Explore a National Park
Take up a new hobby

Spiritual and Cultural Adventures

Go to a meditation class
Take up a daily mindfulness practice
Visit a new place
Travel to a place that speaks a foreign language or volunteer with an ESL (English as a second language) class
Eat at a restaurant that serves food you are not familiar with
Prepare a meal using ingredients you don’t usually use
Plant and nurture a garden
Visit a place of worship that you are not familiar with
Help a charity

Mental Adventures

Join a chess or card club
Make or create something new or from repurposed materials
Teach yourself a new skill (eg crochet, painting, whittling, programming, video editing)
Experiment to create your own recipes or designs
Set up an online business
Take a class or sign up to a course
Get a new hobby that uses your brain in new ways
Become a mentor for a new worker
Write a book or start a blog

art and craft materials spread out on a table
Creative adventures can include art and craft at home or at a workshop

What inspired and do-able adventures have you written down on your list?

I’d love to know! Send me a message.

Be your own boss and get that adventure started!

And now it’s time to get started – be your own boss and take the actions you need to sprinkle an adventure or two into your life today.

You can listen to Adventures are for Everyone on the “Outdoors is my Therapy” podcast!

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Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in ‘Daisy Spoke’ that inform, inspire and empower women to a healthy and active lifestyle.

What does self-care mean for women?

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Do you feel pressure from the fast-paced world, juggling your responsibilities and striving to fit self-care into your already busy life? If so, you’re not alone! Women often report that the biggest obstacles to self-care are lack of time and competing priorities. The consequences are far-reaching. This article brings new light to these obstacles, offers you some practical self-care ideas to incorporate into your day without adding any more pressure, and invites you to a delightful morning of retreat!

What is self-care?

“Self-care” has become a trendy cliché in recent years, but it’s so much more than simply another activity to fit in your day, or a luxurious treat you might have occasionally. We’re bombarded with images and advertisements that suggest self-care is all about pampering, looking good, and spending money on yourself. These experiences and products may be an important part of your personal routine, but genuine self-care runs much deeper.

Love is CaringSelf-care is literally all about caring for yourself, possibly in similar ways that you care for other people in your life. This includes caring for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Sometimes this includes doing things that feel good such as a relaxing bath or an outing with friends. It also means making choices for ourselves that might feel uncomfortable in the short-term, because we know this is what’s best for our longer-term wellbeing.

Sometimes self-care is uncomfortable

We barely think twice when we take firm action with others we care about. For example, as parents we know it’s in the best interests of our children to place limits on the TV they watch. Our children might not like it but we know how important it is for their overall wellbeing, and so we stand firm. When it comes to standing firm on our own self-care, it can be easy to give in to our feelings in that moment. It’s easy to ignore the long-term health benefits of daily exercise when it’s so much cosier sleeping-in instead. Where is our internal parent when we need them?!

What’s getting in the way of self-care?

There are infinite obstacles to self-care but most of them fall under one of these headings:

External Pressures

Women in our society have unconsciously been conditioned to take on multiple Wise words from my future selfroles, and to perform them with excellence, and with a smile on their face. More often than not women carry the bulk of the emotional load in both family and work life – organising, planning, predicting, comforting, parenting, caring, pleasing, time-managing, problem-solving, rescuing and so on. The many competing priorities present dilemmas on a daily basis. Who’s got time or energy to stack self-care into a life that’s built around serving other people’s needs?

Internally Generated Excuses

These issues focus on the way women think about themselves and their roles.  I am a friend to myselfThe way we think is closely related to the way we have been socialised when were younger, with the added layer of personality thrown in. So it’s no surprise that women often share certain beliefs, assumptions and thinking patterns related to self-care – it’s selfish to do something for myself; people will think I’m selfish / not coping; time and money should be spent on something or someone else who needs it more than me; I don’t have enough time or energy; I should just soldier on like everyone else does …..

What’s the big deal with self-care anyway?

Self-care is not selfish. Think about what values are most important to you – perhaps compassion, kindness, generosity? Many of us readily live out these values towards other people yet struggle when it comes to ourselves. How can we truly be compassionate, kind and generous beings when we select who we are compassionate, kind and generous towards? Are you being consistent with your values? How does this affect your self-care?

Consequences of poor self-care

The consequences of poor self-care include reduced physical and mental health, strained relationships, under-performance and increased of risk of compassion fatigue and burnout. Consider also how you are modelling self-care practices (or lack of them) for the next generation. Unwittingly we often enable unhealthy and unsustainable practices to continue to the next generation, reinforcing gender inequity along the way.

Self-care without the pressure

Here are some self-care actions that don’t add extra pressure into your day:

  • say ‘no’ to something so you can say ‘yes’ to something more important

  • set boundaries in your relationships

  • mute your phone at meal times

  • take time to enjoy preparing a nutritious meal

  • delegate some responsibilities

  • have some ‘go-slow’ time each day

  • change your morning routine so you feel less rushed

Saying no

What does self-care look like for you?
What are some actions you could take every day that show compassion, kindness and caring towards yourself?

Women Empowered Morning of Retreat

Discover the possibilities that arise when you prioritise your own health and self-care!

Women Empowered Morning of Retreat

Come along to my next Women Empowered Morning of Retreat in Warwick on Tuesday 4th September 2018. This will be a gentle-paced morning of reflection, discussion and creative activities.

MORE INFORMATION AND REGISTRATION

Read about my last retreat “Women Empowered: Framing My Future with Financial Confidence”

….. and some of the insights gained by the women who participated.

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Daisy Spoke aka Kathryn Walton logoKathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.