What does self-care mean for women?

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Do you feel pressure from the fast-paced world, juggling your responsibilities and striving to fit self-care into your already busy life? If so, you’re not alone! Women often report that the biggest obstacles to self-care are lack of time and competing priorities. The consequences are far-reaching. This article brings new light to these obstacles, offers you some practical self-care ideas to incorporate into your day without adding any more pressure, and invites you to a delightful morning of retreat!

What is self-care?

“Self-care” has become a trendy cliché in recent years, but it’s so much more than simply another activity to fit in your day, or a luxurious treat you might have occasionally. We’re bombarded with images and advertisements that suggest self-care is all about pampering, looking good, and spending money on yourself. These experiences and products may be an important part of your personal routine, but genuine self-care runs much deeper.

Love is CaringSelf-care is literally all about caring for yourself, possibly in similar ways that you care for other people in your life. This includes caring for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Sometimes this includes doing things that feel good such as a relaxing bath or an outing with friends. It also means making choices for ourselves that might feel uncomfortable in the short-term, because we know this is what’s best for our longer-term wellbeing.

Sometimes self-care is uncomfortable

We barely think twice when we take firm action with others we care about. For example, as parents we know it’s in the best interests of our children to place limits on the TV they watch. Our children might not like it but we know how important it is for their overall wellbeing, and so we stand firm. When it comes to standing firm on our own self-care, it can be easy to give in to our feelings in that moment. It’s easy to ignore the long-term health benefits of daily exercise when it’s so much cosier sleeping-in instead. Where is our internal parent when we need them?!

What’s getting in the way of self-care?

There are infinite obstacles to self-care but most of them fall under one of these headings:

External Pressures

Women in our society have unconsciously been conditioned to take on multiple Wise words from my future selfroles, and to perform them with excellence, and with a smile on their face. More often than not women carry the bulk of the emotional load in both family and work life – organising, planning, predicting, comforting, parenting, caring, pleasing, time-managing, problem-solving, rescuing and so on. The many competing priorities present dilemmas on a daily basis. Who’s got time or energy to stack self-care into a life that’s built around serving other people’s needs?

Internally Generated Excuses

These issues focus on the way women think about themselves and their roles.  I am a friend to myselfThe way we think is closely related to the way we have been socialised when were younger, with the added layer of personality thrown in. So it’s no surprise that women often share certain beliefs, assumptions and thinking patterns related to self-care – it’s selfish to do something for myself; people will think I’m selfish / not coping; time and money should be spent on something or someone else who needs it more than me; I don’t have enough time or energy; I should just soldier on like everyone else does …..

What’s the big deal with self-care anyway?

Self-care is not selfish. Think about what values are most important to you – perhaps compassion, kindness, generosity? Many of us readily live out these values towards other people yet struggle when it comes to ourselves. How can we truly be compassionate, kind and generous beings when we select who we are compassionate, kind and generous towards? Are you being consistent with your values? How does this affect your self-care?

Consequences of poor self-care

The consequences of poor self-care include reduced physical and mental health, strained relationships, under-performance and increased of risk of compassion fatigue and burnout. Consider also how you are modelling self-care practices (or lack of them) for the next generation. Unwittingly we often enable unhealthy and unsustainable practices to continue to the next generation, reinforcing gender inequity along the way.

Self-care without the pressure

Here are some self-care actions that don’t add extra pressure into your day:

  • say ‘no’ to something so you can say ‘yes’ to something more important

  • set boundaries in your relationships

  • mute your phone at meal times

  • take time to enjoy preparing a nutritious meal

  • delegate some responsibilities

  • have some ‘go-slow’ time each day

  • change your morning routine so you feel less rushed

Saying no

What does self-care look like for you?
What are some actions you could take every day that show compassion, kindness and caring towards yourself?

Women Empowered Morning of Retreat

Discover the possibilities that arise when you prioritise your own health and self-care!

Women Empowered Morning of Retreat

Come along to my next Women Empowered Morning of Retreat in Warwick on Tuesday 4th September 2018. This will be a gentle-paced morning of reflection, discussion and creative activities.

MORE INFORMATION AND REGISTRATION

Read about my last retreat “Women Empowered: Framing My Future with Financial Confidence”

….. and some of the insights gained by the women who participated.

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Daisy Spoke aka Kathryn Walton logoKathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

 

3 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Younger

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Do you know what drives me to do the work I do with groups of women and health professionals? It’s the fact that there are so many things I wish I’d known when I was younger – things that could have made a difference to my life and to my happiness if I’d known about them, made sense of them, and felt confident implementing them in my own life.

Being stuck in anxiety, sadness or anger stops many people from living truly satisfying and fulfilling lives. With many years of working in the mental health industry as well my own personal experiences, I feel an unstoppable drive to keep moving forwards, to keep expanding my reach to build up people’s knowledge and skills, to make a difference in the world with as many people as I can. My mission is to share information and inspiration that empowers women towards a genuine and deep sense of wellness. And by doing this the ripple effect will have an even greater impact.

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Today I’m sharing with you 3 things I wish I’d known when I was younger.

1. Exercise is the only magic pill

KW MTB selfieDaily exercise and general physical activity are crucial elements of feeling good. Just as some people might need to diligently take medication every day, I need to exercise every day. Exercise is nature’s way of stimulating the hormones which aid concentration, problem-solving, sleep, digestion, and mood. This daily dose of exercise rebalances our body’s systems resulting in wide-ranging benefits that no single medication can provide. The research is absolutely clear that regular medium to high intensity exercise can have a profound effect on health AND happiness.

What types of physical activity and exercise do you prefer? I’ve always loved bushwalking, and in more recent years I’ve become really enthusiastic about mountain biking. I call mountain biking my ‘parallel universe’ because it not only provides me with a very regular dose of fun exercise, family time and social interaction, but I’ve also learned the most amazing life lessons from it including managing fears, growing resilience, and developing mindfulness.

2. Get sleep savvy

Awake owl
Credit: source unknown

Sleep is vital for optimal brain function including mood management. Quality sleep restores the mind and body. It improves concentration, problem-solving, reaction time, capacity to think clearly, organise ourselves, plan, learn … and the list just goes on. But getting a good sleep is easier said than done for some of us. There are many skills to getting a good sleep and there are many things you can control when you understand how sleep works. So, the lesson here is to educate yourself about sleep – sleep cycles, circadian rhythms, body clocks, and sleep hygiene. The most common helpful strategies include exercise (especially in the morning), exposure to early morning light (this resets the body clock so you start to feel sleepy in the evening), reduce caffeine (especially in the afternoon) and learn relaxation and stress management skills. Another vital strategy here is to learn about AND practice mindfulness – every day (not just when you have trouble sleeping). Which leads straight into my 3rd tip!

3. Mind your mind

Don't believe everything you thinkMinds are such complex things! They wield a lot of power over our emotions and our actions (including sleep). But unless you notice what’s going on in your mind, and choose how much power to give it, your thoughts, assumptions and beliefs will control you instead of the other way around. The habit of being hooked by thoughts or strongly attached to them is limiting and anxiety-provoking. The key here is to begin by simply noticing what is happening in your mind, and by doing this with curiosity and without judgement. The power is in the noticing. You’ll collect all sorts of interesting bits of information about how your mind works, what thinking patterns it gets locked into, what beliefs and assumptions are behind it all, and how all of this impacts your physiology, your behaviours and your emotions. One of my favourite sayings is “Don’t believe everything you think!” because we can learn to stand back, notice the thought and choose whether to believe it, or not.

Let's sum up!

So there you have it. The 3 key pieces of information I wish I’d known (and understood, and implemented) when I was younger!

1. Exercise is the only magic pill

2. Get sleep savvy

3. Mind your mind

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Daisy Spoke aka Kathryn Walton logoKathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

Metamorphosis: change is on the way!

Many animals and plants go through periods of rapid and remarkable change: caterpillars morph into butterflies, stone-like seeds generate lush green shoots.

There are infinite examples of other animal and plant changes that are no less remarkable, but perhaps more gradual over time, so the effect may not be as dramatic to the eye: kittens grow into adult cats, seedlings grow into trees.

The inner world of the human is also subject to transformation over time. This is a more abstract concept, but very real and can have a profound impact on the individual and others around them.

Organisations also experience change. We often associate this with unwelcome change such as restructures and redundancies.

Being a small business owner in a regional town for over 12 years, I’ve experienced the effect of many changes in our society including drought, flood, the global financial crisis, government policy changes and a decline in my local economy. I have adapted my business routines, structures, services and systems to meet the changing needs of my community and family.

And NOW I am stepping forward to initiate a NEW and exciting CHANGE! ….. A TRANSFORMATION…… A METAMORPHOSIS. I’m incredibly excited about this change! It’s the next step on my journey of MAKING A DIFFERENCE to my world and making a difference to the lives of many individuals.

 

I’ll shortly be announcing the LAUNCH of my NEW WEBSITE and rolling out my transformational NEW OFFERS including online courses, workshop packages, speaking services and FREE downloads! You’ll have access to the best current evidence-based information about health and wellbeing. You’ll be offered opportunities to be INSPIRED and EMPOWERED on your own wellness journey, as well as events and resources to support YOU as you support OTHERS in your work environment and personal life.

STAY TUNED for all the details as 2017 draws to a close, and JOIN WITH ME as the new year UNFOLDS offering us the next part of our journey in life.

(And remember! You can follow me on Facebook and Instagram too!)

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves.

Empowering Women Through Retreat Days

Condamine Assist’s Kathryn Walton is adamant about the benefits of “Women Empowered”, a series of retreat-style workshops offered to women in small groups within their communities. Kathryn brings a unique blend of enthusiasm, compassion, knowledge and skills to offer women an experience of self-awareness, insight and hopefulness.

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The first Women Empowered Retreat Day was developed and facilitated in Warwick by Kathryn and her wonderful colleague Janine Hills in April 2012. The project grew from the community’s response to several extreme weather events which highlighted the benefits of individual and community resilience in managing and recovering from uncertainty and unpredictability. The retreat days were designed for small groups of women with the following objectives:

  • identify sources of inner strength
  • identify strategies to effectively assist with managing daily stresses of personal, family and community life
  • build personal and community resilience in the event of unexpected, unwanted and natural events
  • enhance a sense of well-being and connectedness among women
  • promote mental health as an integral part of the wellness of individuals, families and communities
  • develop skills and confidence in goal-setting and decision-making
  • support the development of cognitive skills which enhance mental health

Activities during the retreat included mindfulness-based practices and reflective activities interwoven with information and discussion sessions. Feedback highlighted that Women Empowered successfully informed and supported the participants in a genuinely caring, safe and warm atmosphere.

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Following the pilot project, a further series of Women Empowered Retreat Days was facilitated by Kathryn and Janine in 2014 for the communities of Warwick, Maryvale and Emu Vale. Participation and feedback from the women involved in the retreats once again reflected the beneficial nature of this style of program for women.

In early 2016 Kathryn offered a Women Empowered Retreat Day in Killarney with a focus on creative and expressive arts to explore the topic “Me, Myself and I”. The combination of reflective and creative activities in the tranquil surrounds enabled new insights into self care and role identity for participants.

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Responding to community feedback, further Women Empowered Retreat Days will be offered in the future with a focus on various aspects of life relevant to women in our society. The next Women Empowered event is “Living a Life With Meaning” to be held in Warwick on Thursday 15th September 2016.

To keep informed of Women Empowered Retreat Days and other events, sign up to our email newsletter list, or send Kathryn an email kwalton@condamineassist.com.au