Movement and Mindset with Jessica Carey

Transcript from the podcast “Speak Out Loud: Stories of Strength from the Southern Downs”

SEASON 2: EPISODE 12

GUEST: Jessica Carey

PUBLISHED: 4th April 2022

Jessica Carey at Girraween

[00:00:00] Jessica: When we work on our mindset, when we work on our emotional resilience, when we’re connected to nature and when we’re moving our body, it actually shifts energy. It moves and creates change. And I think within anything to do with movement, it is creating change not only on a physical level, but with your mental health, also with your emotional wellbeing, which are all part of being a human, like when we’re very multifaceted and it’s not a one size fits all thing. It’s about choosing what works for you and, what makes you feel good. And I think that’s really important.

[00:00:42] Kathryn: My guest today is Jessica Carey. Jessica’s deep connection with the Southern Downs Region goes back six generations. In our conversation, we chat about the cycles and the seasons in nature, and that by choosing your mindset and your actions, you also choose to build your personal strength and resilience and this positions you in a much better place to manage the changes, the cycles and the seasons in life. Jessica also shares in this episode, her love of physical activity and sport, and the many opportunities across the region for joining in structured activities like sport, as well as unstructured leisure activities such as bushwalking that gets you connected with nature. Our conversation reflects many of the themes that we’ve explored in Season Two and I’m sure it will inspire you to get out there and get active.

Hello, Jessica. Welcome to the podcast.

[00:01:46] Jessica: Hi Kathryn. Thanks so much for having me.

[00:01:48] Kathryn: Can you tell our listeners what your connection is with the Southern Downs?

[00:01:53] Jessica: My connection with the Southern Downs is very much family-based. So I’ve grown up in the region and I have six generations back, uh, on both sides of my lineage and family line in the Yangan and Emu Vale area.

[00:02:08] Kathryn: During the drought which we had over several years, and that was followed up by the bush fires in 2019 and 2020, I spoke with a lot of people about their experiences. And some words that were commonly used were devastation, hopelessness, and despair. And so clearly for many people, those were really tough times. But at that time, I also recall having some conversations with you too. And you had a slightly different perspective, I’d have to say, which I really think must’ve helped to boost your resilience. You were speaking about the cycles and the seasons in nature and in life, and there are purposes and benefits to each of those cycles and seasons, even though they can be challenging. Could you share some of your thoughts on that perspective with us a little bit more?

[00:03:00] Jessica: I would love to. So in my profession I have a lot of conversations and I hear a lot of stories, uh, from really beautiful and happy memories to really hard times, um, being a hairdresser. Yeah, people are really vulnerable with you. So feelings of devastation and hopelessness and despair were definitely very common during that time and how I look at it from a psychological perspective and a cycles of nature perspective is that we have a life death life cycles. And that happens in nature, that happens within our bodies, our life, our inner world. So when we went through that really, really tough time, which many are still in, it was reflected back to us within what was going on in our internal world. It was really hard to see the devastation that the drought bought just like right now, the land is very fertile. So those cycles of nature are continuous. I have a lot of conversations with farmers and a lot of them are just very connected to those seasons, those cycles in nature. And I really like hearing those stories because it actually teaches us that there is always a time for these things, um, that nothing ever stays the same, that we are cyclic beings. And that what’s really important is to learn how to become resilient through some of those harder times, some of those tougher times in life, um, that we will all face at some time.

[00:04:23] Kathryn: So our thoughts and our attitudes can really have quite an impact on our resilience as well as the actions that we choose to take. Now, I know that you’re someone who highly values health and vitality and resilience. What are some of the choices that you make every day that keeps you feeling strong?

[00:04:45] Jessica: I love this question, Kathryn. Health is one of my highest values because I believe without it, that we can’t actually make the choices from a really clear and vibrant space. So, uh, eating really well from the land from the earth is really important to me, whether that’s growing your own food or going to local farmer’s markets and sourcing locally and seasonally. Really good sleep cycles. I believe that’s really important in how I show up in the world every day is sleep is how our bodies heal. So that’s really important. Movement, so physical activity, whether that’s team sport, getting out in nature, doing a yoga class. Being still for a period of time within that movement is important as well. Being aware of your body. Having really nourishing relationships and being social is part of that as well, whether that is on a hike or team sport, or simply saying hello to my neighbour as they walk past. And having really clear desires and goals are another part of my life of working towards being a really, just the best version of myself in this life. I think that’s really important and I’m really connected to nature. I think we live in an incredible region where nature is at the forefront and I love being connected to her. I think it’s probably the thing that I love the most is, um, it connects to all those other things and it creates a really incredible foundation for the rest.

[00:06:12] Kathryn: And you’ve been involved with lots of different physical activities over the years that you’ve lived in the Southern Downs and even when you’ve gone abroad Jessica. What opportunities are there for people to get active on the Southern Downs?

[00:06:28] Jessica: Ah, where do I begin? There’s so many. I was brought up playing a lot of team sports, so I was involved with netball and touch football um, in particular. I was into athletics and swimming as well. And I’ve always done some type of gym work. So, there is just so many depending on where you want to start. You can pick your team sports, you can pick your individual sports. You’ve got incredible gym facilities in the region. You’ve got, um, some of your unstructured sports, like you’ve got your mountain biking, orienteering so many, so it really depends on the way that you want to move your body, but we are an incredible region, that offers so much for getting outdoors and yeah, just seeing what we’ve got on offer.

[00:07:10] Kathryn: So with so many opportunities out there, how can people find out about what’s out there if they are starting from not doing anything, they don’t know what’s available to them, how can they get connected?

[00:07:27] Jessica: I would say first port of call is talk to people. I think within anything in a small country town, it is asking the right questions and asking around. Secondly, using your social media apps. I think that everything is on there now uh, whether that’s your unstructured or your structured sport. I think, uh, using your hashtags is really powerful, especially on Instagram. So if you’re like hashtagging Southern Downs or Granite Belt, there’s a lot of people who explore this region that are tourists that love coming out here who share pictures and who share what they’re doing to get outdoors. It’s actually how I found a hiking group that I’m now involved in for 25 to 35 year olds in the Southeast Queensland and we do hikes and outdoor activities everywhere, but they also come here. So it’s how I found them. I found them through Instagram and I wanted to meet like-minded young people. Um, yeah, so there’s, there’s so many opportunities if you put yourself out there and aren’t afraid to, aren’t afraid to get a little bit vulnerable and put yourself out of your comfort zone. And the council website has a great foundation on there as well for a lot of facilities and a lot of ways that you can get connected in the region. And also just going to some of the like asking local businesses, go down the main street of any of the parts of our region and ask locals. Locals know what’s available. Um, you’ve got your outdoor sports shops. You’ve got your camping shops. They’re like they’re owned by locals. Locals love this region. They explore and get out there. You’ve got so many ways to find your resources, to get outdoors and love this region.

[00:09:01] Kathryn: What are your favorite ways to get active and why? What motivates you with those activities that you love to do the most?

[00:09:10] Jessica: My favourite ways to get active is I really enjoy hiking. I love experiencing nature in a way, uh, that I’m moving without actually feeling like I’m exercising. So it’s just comes naturally. And like, I can enjoy it with friends. I can also enjoy it solo. I feel really connected when I’m with nature, when I’m in immersed in nature. And when I can experience what what’s on offer there. So for me, it’s, that would be my foundational one. And then I also really enjoy team sport because it’s social. I really, really, I think team sports are really great, great way to flourish. And, um, couple of nights a week for that for me is, um, gives me a good people fix and I can move my body, do some cardio and head home.

[00:10:00] Kathryn: Those places that you like to go hiking, Jessica, could you tell us a little bit more about them?

[00:10:06] Jessica: Oh yes. So my favorite place to go hiking in this region is Girraween National Park. I that’s my local stomping ground. Anyone that I meet in hiking groups, that’s they’re like, Oh, you’re so close to Girraween. And I’m like, yes. Yes I am. And there’s something about that granite in that region in Stanthorpe that has so much on offer, not only for just hiking, but so many other outdoor activities. Yes so that is an incredible part. I also love just going out to Killarney. Leslie Dam’s got some really incredible spots as well. I love watching a sunset out there and, uh, yeah, there’s just so many snippets of this region, but definitely Girraween National Park is something that is very much sought after by most people I meet in a lot of parts of Australia.

[00:10:57] Kathryn: For people who are living in town or maybe don’t have that transport to get out to some of those National Parks, some of those big open spaces like that, what would there be for someone say who’s in Warwick or Allora or in Stanthorpe?

[00:11:15] Jessica: Well, we have really incredible waterways in each of our towns and we have incredible walking tracks that are paths. They’re concreted and at the moment the water’s flowing beautifully. So there’s some really incredible river walks that are really flat, really accessible for children, for anyone who maybe their fitness isn’t up to going on a mountain. So I think our waterways in Warwick, Stanthorpe, Killarney, even, and, um, the centre of Stanthorpe are really incredible ways to start.

[00:11:43] Kathryn: Jessica, you also teach sport. Could you tell us a little bit more about that role that you have?

[00:11:51] Jessica: Uh, yes. So on through the summer I teach swimming. So I swam for a number of years and I believe it’s a life skill that everybody should have, whether that’s swimming in a pool, the beach, or skiing out at the dam, whatever it is, it’s one of those life skills that I believe are really important. So yeah. I love teaching kids swimming. It’s really fun. It’s, I love seeing their development. And I love seeing how they grow in confidence and build body awareness. And it’s something they can take for the rest of their life, which is really fun.

[00:12:25] Kathryn: And I imagine that even for adults who may want to learn to swim, that there are opportunities for them as well. Or it might not be swimming. It might be adults who want to have a go at a new sport that they haven’t done before.

[00:12:39] Jessica: Oh, absolutely. Most of the clubs in town, like most of your team sports or even your local gyms are always providing opportunities for you to move your body and get active and meet people. And yeah, I think you just need to ask around and find one that suits you. And there’s always incredible, incredible ways that you can get moving, get outside and umm move your body.

[00:13:01] Kathryn: For somebody who maybe doesn’t move a real lot, maybe isn’t really physically active, perhaps they have some pain or they haven’t had as many opportunities as somebody else to get involved with sport, or maybe they find it really hard to find the time to do that, what advice would you have for that person?

[00:13:23] Jessica: I would say start small. I think with anything with movement over my entire life, it’s been about setting a goal and slowly working towards it and being really kind and compassionate with yourself because all things take time. And I think resilience is a part of that. It’s nothing happens overnight. So you’ve got the river walks, as I mentioned earlier. And then you’ve also got some of the tracks that are in our region, whether that’s Queen Mary Falls or you’ve got a beautiful track at Girraween called Granite Arch, you know, they’re, they’re very gentle tracks for beginners and a way to move your body in a very short amount of time. But a lot of it’s mindset. A lot of it’s working towards something, knowing why you do it and being intentional about it. I think intention behind anything that you choose to do is really vital.

[00:14:13] Kathryn: Jessica, is there anything else that you’d like to share with us about that power of mindset or choosing to be active and getting connected with our community?

[00:14:24] Jessica: Absolutely. So whether it’s our mindset, how we choose to move our body or getting connected with others, it’s all about how we choose to show up in the world. You know, when we work on our mindset, when we work on our emotional resilience, when we’re connected to nature and when we’re moving our body, it actually shifts energy. It moves and creates change. And I think within anything to do with movement, it is creating change not only on a physical level, but with your mental health, also with your emotional wellbeing, which are all part of being a human, like when we’re very multifaceted and it’s not a one size fits all thing. It’s about choosing what works for you and, what makes you feel good. And I think that’s really important. If you’re flogging yourself to do something, it’s not sustainable. And I think like anything in nature, things need to be sustainable. So again, coming back to connection with nature and connection to cycles, it’s really important that we treat ourselves with love, respect, and compassion. And when we do that, that’s reflected around us as well.

[00:15:27] Kathryn: We mentioned before that you had travelled abroad. Could you tell us a little bit about what you were doing when you were overseas and how that’s relevant for us here on the Southern Downs?

[00:15:40] Jessica: Yes, I would love to. So a couple of years ago I went and lived in Canada for a short period of time. And I worked at a summer camp in BC. So I was working with children in the outdoors doing structured and unstructured movement and leadership. And it was an incredible time in my life. I believe this region is so similar to parts of BC in Canada. Every time I come back through Stanthorpe after being at Girraween, I just, my heart just takes me back to that time. We have so much opportunity in this region and for what’s available to explore, get out doors, be connected, go mountain biking, hiking, not just your team sports. We just have an incredible resource here in, on the Southern Downs. And I’m very passionate about getting people out doors, getting people moving and showing what is on offer in this beautiful region we call home.

[00:16:38] Kathryn: And we started putting together a list of those sports and those unstructured activities which we have access to here on the Southern Downs. And I’m sure that there are many more that we haven’t even thought of but that’s quite some list, isn’t it?

[00:16:51] Jessica: Oh yeah. There’s oh, from orienteering to tobogganing, soccer, netball, volleyball, water polo. You know, we’ve got our gyms, Pilates, yoga, National Parks. You can walk the dog, basketball, like it just, the list goes on whether it’s trials, whether it’s team sport or whether it’s individual, there’s literally something on offer for everybody, especially in a, in a beautiful country town.

[00:17:16] Kathryn: How can listeners contact you if they’d like to find out a little bit more about what you’ve been talking about today?

[00:17:23] Jessica: So I have a website. It is www.jessicacarey.com.au. I have a contact email that is accessible there, and I have social media. So I have an Instagram account, which is underscore Jessica Carey and Facebook is Arise with Jessica Carey. You can find me pretty easily. So yeah.

[00:17:44] Kathryn: Thanks for listening to the Speak Out Loud Stories of Strength podcast with me, Kathryn Walton. I hope this episode inspires you to get involved and to get connected with your community. You can find the transcript and any links mentioned in this episode, in the show notes and please share the podcast with your friends.
We acknowledge and pay respect to the past, present and future Traditional Custodians and Elders of this nation and the continuation of cultural, spiritual, and educational practices of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Series Two of this podcast has been jointly funded under the Commonwealth and State Disaster Recovery Funding Arrangements 2018.

Why You Need To Have An Adventure Goal

an attitude of adventure is life changing“Adventure” is a word that repels many people, yet it’s the process of working towards an adventure goal that fills me with excitement and energy for the future. Adventure isn’t always fun and games. It can be pretty hard work too, with frequent floods of sweat, tears and frustration. So what’s the attraction? Why does anyone need to have an adventure goal? And why would you go through that turmoil when it’s so much easier to sit back and watch everyone else do it?

YOU: Why do I need to have an adventure goal?
ME: Let me count the ways!

Adventure is fun!

Well, maybe not your everyday kind of fun where you spend the whole time laughing, relaxing, and at ease with the world. That’s what we call Type 1 Fun. Adventure often falls into the category of Type 2 Fun where it sure as heck didn’t seem fun at the time, but afterwards you recount it with a big grin on your face and the level of pain seems to diminish in comparison to the whole experience. In other words, the investment you made was worth it! Sometimes adventures turn out to be Type 3 Fun – not fun at the time and still not fun afterwards. However there are plenty of other rewards for an adventurous life besides having fun (like telling the story afterwards and laughing at yourself) ….. or not.

Adventure goals are motivating!

If you ever need a boost to get out of a rut, setting an adventure goal for yourself could be just the thing to kick-start your motivation. Make sure you choose your own adventure though – it’s got to be something YOU would like to do, and not too easy or too challenging either.

Adventure goals are stimulating!

Adventures are the perfect workout! They get your mind and body working together as a team. As your body goes through the motions of a physical challenge, your mind is right there alongside working hard to learn, problem-solve, adapt and connect with the outside world.

Adventure goals are inspiring!

When you work towards a goal that’s got just the right amount of challenge in it for you, you set off an internal loop that keeps you inspired, not just about your goal, but about other things in life too!

Adventure goals are satisfying!

When have you achieved something you though you might not be able to do? Something that seemed hard enough that you had to practise, or that you had to work at for a while before reaching your goal? The feeling of satisfaction (and even elation) that goes hand in hand with adventure-seeking is a natural high that’ll have you coming back for more. Find a purpose in your adventure, and you’ll be set for life.

Adventure goals stretch you to be your best self!

Dip your toes into the waters beyond your comfort zone, grow new skills and become your best self! You deserve it. The world deserves it from you too.

Adventure goals grow your skills!

With any new activity comes a process of learning, and adventures are no different. Choose your own adventure and develop physical skills such as co-ordination, balance and endurance; mental skills such as persistence and focus; inner skills like regulating your emotions, behaviours and energy levels; and even social skills, travel skills and money management skills! The sky’s the limit!

Adventure goals make you feel good (often after you feel a bit bad for a while, but mostly they make you feel good!)

Working on an adventure goal using a well-planned method adds significantly to your mental health and sense of wellbeing. You’ll learn heaps about yourself, what your truly capable of, and what makes you tick. You might detour on your way to your goal, or even change your goal altogether, and that’s all absolutely fine! It’s the insights you gain to your inner life, and the choices you make in your best interest that matter more than anything else!

Have I missed any important reasons to have an adventure goal? Let me know by sending me a message, and while you’re at it, tell me:
What adventure goal are you working towards next?

Daisy Spoke

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in ‘Daisy Spoke’ that inform, inspire and empower women to a healthy and active lifestyle.

What is a Word of the Year and why do I need one?

“Word of the Year” ….. A word that represents a way of being, an attitude or a mindset that serves as a road sign guiding you towards a goal you want to achieve before the end of the year.

I LOVE having a word of the year! And not just any old word. I put a lot of thought into choosing my word (or phrase) so that it aligns perfectly with my goals for the coming year.

Why I began using a word of the year

I began choosing a word of the year a few years ago to help me stay on track with my goals. I’d been really busy at that time, juggling lots of different contracts and spending all my time trying to please every organisation using their own systems. I always felt behind, disorganised, and I put increasing pressure on myself to do all the things for everyone.

I yearned for something simpler. I wanted to feel calm, organised and satisfied with my work again. I wanted everything to be simpler but I felt stuck because I didn’t know how to get to that point. When I took the time to reflect, it was a pretty obvious decision to choose “simple” as my word of the year!

my word of the year - simple

Now, simple isn’t something you do. It’s a state of being or a mindset that guides the actions you take, a bit like a train track that keeps the train heading in the right direction. So, when I was faced with choices in the following year, I allowed my word of the year to guide me. I chose simple over complicated. I let go of all sorts of things that were in the way of me living a simple, calm and organised life.

My word of the year was a true shining light for me that year. Choosing a word of the year has become a very important routine for me, and one that I love to share with others.

Why you should have a word of the year too

You can use a word of the year to guide you towards a goal, to stay in alignment with your values, to help you pivot your business, or to create any other sort of change you would like to see in your life. When you allow your word of the year to be a core component of your decision-making, it will be a powerful tool for change.

How do you choose a word of the year?

Read through the following points and make a some notes as you word of the yearreflect. There is a free downloadable worksheet to help you do this on my website, or simply make notes in your own journal. Be careful not to get stuck thinking about all the reasons why ‘this’ can’t happen, and why ‘that’ wouldn’t work. This exercise is to help you focus on possibilities. Our brains spend enough time and energy on the problems, so let’s give it a break for a few moments!

1. Picture yourself 12 months from now.

  • What is one thing you would like to be different?
  • What is one SMART goal you’d like to achieve in the next year?
  • What is something you dream of, something you would like in your life?
  • Even if you don’t have a specific goal or a dream, do you have a vague idea or a feeling that you’d like something to be different in your life?
  • How would you like to be living your life?
  • What attitudes or ‘ways of being’ would you like to be living by?
  • What do you value most in your life? Are you living your life with these as your priority?
  • Do any of your answers stand-out to you? Are there any common threads running through your reflections?

2. What states of being or states of mind will be helpful for you to achieve your goal, dream or desired change?

This is all about HOW you need to BE, not what you need to do, for example being patient, staying grounded or having a bold attitude.

3. What word or phrase best reflects the state of being or state of mind that YOU would most like to focus on over the next year?

This can be your word of the year!

4. Write your Word of the Year down, think about it often, and visualise how it will guide you through the year.

When you feel sure that’s the word you most need or want, plaster it everywhere to keep it fresh in your mind. Make it the centre piece of your vision board. Create a wallpaper for your computer or phone. Write in the front of next year’s diary. Blu tac it to your bathroom mirror. The idea is to get it front and foremost in your mind so that it does the job you intend it to.

my word of the year - adventure

Words of the month, week and day

A year is a long time, and sometimes it helps to have some stepping stones along the way. You can run through a similar process to choose a word of the month, week or the day.

In the bizarre way that the subconscious works, my word of the day often floats into my conscious mind during quiet morning meditation time. It can be a bit like a feather in the breeze, wafting around mid air until it gently settles on the ground. But sometimes my word of the day blasts at me in a song from the radio. Other times it’s gifted to me in the wise words from a loved one or even when I’m listening to a podcast interview. However it happens, I’m always happy to grab it and run with it, knowing it’s all part of the process to help me get from here to there, and in alignment with my overall goals and values.

I’d love to hear from you – have you ever chosen a Word of the Year? How did it help you create an attitude, mindset or a way of being to guide you towards your goal?

Daisy Spoke

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in ‘Daisy Spoke’ that inform, inspire and empower women to a healthy and active lifestyle.

Have you failed if you don’t reach your goal?

Goals, Outcomes and Benchmarks

There is too much emphasis these days on outcomes. If you work for a government or corporate organisation, you’ll likely have KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) to aim for. Even if you work for yourself, you’ll be required at some point to reach targets related to income, funding for a project, or your client’s benchmarks. Perhaps you set specific markers for yourself in your work or personal life. Whatever label you slap on them, they’re simply ‘goals’. And success is all about reaching your goal. But have you failed if you don’t reach your goal?

The Benefits of Having a Goal

Not everyone is a fan of goal-setting. Personally and professionally I love them. However I’m very choosy about what goals I commit to, as well as the finer detail that goes with them (that is, the who, how, why, when, where, what and how of the goal). I believe that having a goal to aim for can give you purpose, focus, motivation, structure, and a feeling of success when you’ve reached it.

Failing to Reach Your Goal

I also know what it’s like to NOT reach a goal. In fact there are many goals I haven’t reached. Do I consider myself a failure because I haven’t reached those goals? Definitely not. There’s much more to a goal than the final outcome (despite what business model you might be working under!)

Goals include the nitty gritty mentioned above – the who, how, why, when, where, what and how. If you only look at the ‘what’ factor (that is, the desired outcome), then you’re selling your goal short.

Real-life Examples of Failing to Reach a Goal

Overnight Expedition Fail #1

Last year I set off on an overnight backpacking trip to reach a remote bush camp on an escarpment with a small group. We knew that others had been there before. We even had some trail maps of where they’d been although we found very little other information about the area. We began our trip on an established footpad then veered uphill very steeply off track as we navigated along a ridge line. The going was very tough. There was huffing and puffing; tears; and many self-proclaimed moments of “I can’t do this!” After hours of sweating it out we realised we were simply not going to make it. The route we’d taken was described somewhere as ‘moderate’ but it was nothing like my idea of moderate at all! My new grippy-soled Merrill’s were no match for the steepness of the terrain and I couldn’t get the image of myself sliding uncontrollably down the mountain out of my mind. As dusk arrived and we were still miles away from our destination, we chose to retrace our steps back to a small saddle and set up camp for the night.

As it turned out, camping here in the middle of nowhere was the most magical experience! Stars and night sounds accompanied our tired bodies and minds as we settled down to rest after one of the most gruelling walks I’d ever done. Disappointment called loudly, but I put it in the background, completely mesmerised by what was before me.

Did I fail? Yes, it’s true I failed to reach the destination at the time I planned, but I did not fail in every other aspect of the goal. I tried my hardest on this walk, gathered more information about the terrain, discovered that having a rope would have been handy to navigate some of the steep sections, and I accidentally uncovered the world’s most amazing remote camping spot!

Remote camping
PHOTO CREDIT: Kathryn Walton (author)

Overnight Expedition Fail #2

So gruelling was this trip that I wasn’t interested in making another attempt of this same route. However last week the opportunity arose to try a different route …. to the same destination. Hmmm ….. this could be interesting! So with backpacks on, new maps and routes, a conversation with the Park Ranger to gather more local knowledge, some added confidence, and we were off. We even organised a small water cache for ourselves about 6kms from where we left our car in case we needed it on our return trip. Lesson learned from previous trip!

This time the terrain was not steep and slippery. It was rugged in a different way. Following old logging roads through rainforest proved so slow that it was almost impossible. Our planned route was entirely overgrown with woody vines, weeds, stinging trees and thickets. Navigating using map and compass seemed impossible in the thick rainforest, and using GPS was also haphazard with the dense canopy disrupting satellite communication. Progress was terribly slow. Climbing and untangling, diverting and problem-solving, re-calibrating and double-checking. We gradually made our way through the jungle.

Once again as the sun dropped low in the western sky, we acknowledged we’d failed to reach our destination once again. We’d need at least one more full day of navigating and pushing through scrub and forest to get there at this pace.

Did I fail? Yes, it’s true I did not reach the destination in the allotted timeframe, but in every other aspect I experienced success. I’d tried something new, hadn’t given up, approached each problem that arose with calmness (well, almost!), deeply appreciated the majesty of the rainforest around me, and felt connected with all who had been here before me, and all who would come after me.

Not reaching your goal does NOT equal failure!

So in my opinion, if you set a goal and don’t achieve it in the way you planned or in the time frame you set, that does NOT mean you’ve failed. It simply means you haven’t arrived there yet. It’s an opportunity to learn, re-assess, and redesign. Sometimes it’s an opportunity to say “Actually, that goal isn’t what I want after all. I’m going to change the goal post to suit me, rather than changing myself to suit the goal post.” If you don’t reach your goal, it’s not an indication of failure at all. It’s an opportunity. Go grab it!

Daisy Spoke

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in ‘Daisy Spoke’ that inform, inspire and empower women to a healthy and active lifestyle.

5 ways to maximise your financial confidence

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Maximising financial confidence is not something many of us think about, yet it’s such an important topic. Financial confidence impacts the choices you make every day. Your core beliefs about money, spending, finances, savings and debt are all tied up in your financial confidence. The most recent Women Empowered retreat “Framing My Future” reflected on financial confidence and resulted in some amazing insights, affirmations and commitments by the women who gathered together.

Financial confidence and stress is often a silent and limiting roadblock that many women experience, and what’s more, many women are not even aware of its presence or its power. By digging down a bit and shining a spotlight on it, you can identify if financial confidence is a roadblock for you too. Then, you can choose what you’d like to do about it. You have the power within you to create a powerful mindset that will guide you past all sorts of roadblocks and light up the pathway to your future.

Here are five key ways to maximise your financial confidence!

1. Identify a financial goal

best things in life start with a dreamDo you have financial goals (or other goals), perhaps some goals for yourself, and others you share with another person?

How do you actively contribute to your goals?

What actions do you take or habits do you have that move you closer to your goals?

What actions do you take or habits do you have that keep you distanced from your goals?

2. Use your voice to communicate about finances

Do you use your voice in relation to money?

What words or phrases do you use in relation to money?

Where do you use these words and phrases? With whom?

Where or how did you learn these words and phrases?

How do these words and phrases contribute to your confidence (or lack of it) with money?

How do you value your own worth and how do you communicate this?

3. Identify your family financial patterns

Is this something I have control over?How did your family of origin handle money issues?

Were financial issues spoken about openly?

What roles did your parents and others have in relation to money when you were growing up?

What feelings come up for you when you think about money and spending?

What skills, attitudes and patterns did you learn from your family?

Are there any patterns you would like to break free from?

4. Understand how your brain and budgeting work together

Do you budget? Do you know how to budget? Do you want to know how to budget?

Do you know where your money goes? Where are the leaks in your budget?

Do you check statements for fraud or unexplained expenses?

Is there a pattern to your spending, eg pre-menstrual or other patterns? And how do you feel when you are in the process of spending?

Spending money can stimulate dopamine, a bioi-chemical produced in our brains that make us feel good. It can keep us spending even if we haven’t budgeted for it.

What other activities give you a hit of dopamine while you stay in control and without sabotaging your budget or goals? Eg crossing tasks off a to-do list, doing something that gives you a sense of achievement, trying something new.

5. What is your earning potential?

How do you feel about your job or role?What's my plan of action to deal with this issue?

How do you feel about how much you are earning?

How much would you like to be earning?

What limits your earnings?

Which of your inner beliefs limits what you think you are capable of, or capable of earning?

Can you identify a new goal for yourself that challenges these limits?

Let's sum up!

Financial confidence is not set in stone. It’s something we can work on in the same way we can extend our knowledge and the other skills we have. Financial confidence is just one of the many contributors to our overall confidence that is shaped by our inner beliefs and perpetuated by our habits and actions. Do your mental health and sense of wellness a favour by gently challenging your financial confidence – let me know how you go!

DNA Insight LogoDonna Neale-Arnold was my co-facilitator and special advisor at our recent retreat. She shared her warm, caring and holistic approach to financial management through a series of reflections interwoven with journalling and creative activities. Donna’s rich experience has developed through working in the banking sector as well as in community services as a financial counsellor and in the health sector with her homeopathy and holistic counselling practice DNA Insight at Red Rose Healing Centre in Warwick QLD.

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Daisy Spoke aka Kathryn Walton logoKathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

Women Empowered: Framing My Future with Financial Confidence

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Have you booked for the evening of retreat “Women Empowered: Framing My Future” coming up on Wednesday 21st March 2018 in Warwick, Queensland? It’s going to be an absolute delight to welcome you along! The Women Empowered retreats have been very popular in past years, and to keep up with changing times I’m offering this retreat in the evening instead of during the day. I’m keen to see how that suits everyone and whether this is a format you’d like repeated in future. I’m also keen to tell you a bit more about what to expect when you come along to “Framing My Future”.

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Dream Big!

There’s no shortage of media images these days prompting women to dream and achieve Dream Biganything they want. It’s a message that’s intended to be encouraging by chipping away at the gender stereotypes our society has constructed over many generations. For so many reasons we know that women can, and do, achieve amazing things in our world. There are many wonderful role models who inspire and propel us towards our own version of success.

Obstacles lurking beneath the surface

Yet beneath it all continues to lurk a tangle of obstacles, deeply rooted and barely visible to the eye until we dig down through the layers, bringing them into the light of day. Thus begins the process of empowering women to not only take charge of their dreams, but to have the skills to manage the obstacles along the way.

The voices in our heads

I’m a big fan of dreams (and I do a lot of dreaming!) and I’ve often written and spoken about goal-setting previously. When used appropriately, dreaming and goal-setting is very powerful. It brings us to a position of being future focused. Sure, not everyone is comfortable with this. Human brains are preset to focus on problems (that’s how humans have survived for so long!), and so our angst rises with every thought of following a dream. The barriers, the obstacles, the hurdles, the roadblocks – call them what you willthey generally get in the way preventing us from following through with actions, and even from getting started in the first place. They wield their power not so much through their actual ‘being’, but through the unseen voices in our heads telling us we can’t do it, it won’t work, we’re not good enough, and we’ll fail if we try.

Don't believe everything you thinkSounding familiar? The thing is we often don’t even realise it’s happening, and when we do notice it, we keep it to ourselves because we think we’re the only ones. But have I got news for you! All of us have those critical voices. YES! All of us! They’re the voices of self-doubt, fear, hopelessness and pessimism. They keep us small when we need to be big. And the way to deal with them is to bring them out into the open. Straight away their power begins to diminish.

Read more about the voices in my head here!

Financial confidence is an obstacle

Two of the hidden obstacles that frequently impact women are financial confidence and emotional confidence. These are the key themes at my next retreat “Framing my Future”. We’re going to dig them up and shine a light on them. We’ll bring them to the surface and get to know them a little better. We’ll scratch away and see what they’re made of. And we’ll use them to propel ourselves forwards towards our hopes and dreams for the future instead of allowing them to trip us up and keep us where we are.

Create a powerful mindset for your future!

Well actually, yes I can!The beauty of the process is that you don’t have to even have any real idea of where you want your future to be heading in order to benefit from this retreat. You’ll leave with the skills to create a powerful mindset to identify, challenge and manage your financial and emotional confidence no matter what path you take.

Retreat activities

I’m truly excited to be a part of this unique retreat! I believe when women gather together in groups with openness, warm-heartedness and shared intentions, that’s when magic happens! So I hope you’ll join us for this exquisite evening. Donna Neale-Arnold will be my co-facilitator. Donna brings a warm, caring and holistic approach to her financial therapy and homeopathy practices. She has a rich experience having worked in the corporate sector as well as community services and the health sector for many years.

Donna and I will guide you through a series of personal reflections followed by simple yet Creative Artspowerful creative activities. The gentle pace will support you to make valuable connections with your own beliefs and actions around financial confidence. You’ll identify the mindset you need to bolster your financial and emotional confidence, and to frame the future you choose. You will be provided with a light meal, delightful company and a gorgeous keepsake to take home with you that will frame your future perfectly.

Bonuses!

CD Give-awayWe will be giving away some special bonuses and door prizes at the retreat including beautiful journals, meditation cushions, carry bags, a Tony O’Connor CD of relaxation music, and more – fabulous gifts to support your self-care and progression!

Bookings are essential

Bookings are essential and limited spaces are available. It’s more fun with a friend or two (or more) so we are offering discounts when you book multiple tickets at the same time.

Here’s the deal: 3 hours of guided reflective retreat with two experienced facilitators, a light meal, all materials, a take home keepsake, a nurturing atmosphere to support your financial and emotional confidence, and opportunities to leave with a special bonus door prize.

Your investment: 

  • Single ticket: $55
  • Double ticket: $100
  • Triple ticket: $140

To book, click here

For more information view the Facebook Event here

If you have questions, email Kathryn here

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Daisy Spoke aka Kathryn Walton logoKathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

Make it Happen! Actions to take you from surviving to thriving

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From thriving to surviving and back again

For most of my life I’ve enjoyed the challenge of setting goals and making them happen. I’ve learned that the actions I choose can take me from surviving to thriving. I love to have a go at something new, especially adventurous activities. For a few years this seemed to slow down a bit. Perhaps it was my added commitment to my young family, our relocation to a rural area, or maybe even a simple ‘rut’ I got myself into. When life was more about surviving the usual (and not so usual) childhood illnesses, school assignments, getting the bills paid, and retrenchments, I often felt a long way from thriving.

Maybe it was my approaching middle age that brought along a renewed urge to live life as fully as possible. I know that I function at my best when I have a goal to aim for, and so when I began to focus on this aspect of myself again, I rediscovered my passion for adventure. Here I will share with you the actions that took me from surviving to thriving – you can do it too!

Goal-setting and problem-solving are key skills to success

The skills of setting goals and creatively problem-solving are key factors to success. Success doesn’t just happen. You have to create it, to action it, and to problem-solve it. It doesn’t always come easily, and we often shy away from the actions we need to take. We secretly keep our inner dreams to ourselves out of fear of failure.

Get your goal out there!

best things in life start with a dreamI’m sharing with you one of my goals that I’ve had floating about in my head for a long time. Putting it out there in the public arena is definitely not easy. I have a lot of doubts about whether I’ll succeed, but if I keep suppressing my dream, there won’t be any chance of success.  

Getting clear on my goal

I’m using the post 9 Steps to Achieving Your Dreams and Goals to help me get clear on just what it is I want to achieve, and why. This clarity will give me direction and motivation.

STEP 1 – IDENTIFY AN AREA FOR CHANGE

I want my life to be filled with adventurous activities instead of ho-hum routine.

STEP 2 – STAY FOCUSED ON THE CHANGE, DON’T BE DISTRACTED BY PROBLEMATIC THOUGHTS

There are plenty of problems associated with spending more time in adventurous activities. But when I’ve overcome them I’ll be living the life I want – full of activity, travel, inspiration, energy, feeling great! I’ll focus my attention on how I want it to be instead of what the problems are.

STEP 3 – SELECT YOUR SMART GOAL

I WILL GO ON AN OVERNIGHT HIKE  – something I haven’t done before!

Is it specific? YesAre my expectations realistic?

Is it measurable? Yes

Is it achievable? Yes, I’m comfortable and competent with bushwalking and camping, so the new challenge combines this with carrying my supplies.

Is it realistic? Yes, I’m reasonably fit, healthy, strong, sensible and organised. I’ll research and access resources and networks, borrow or buy equipment that I need.

Does it have a timeframe? I’ll avoid extreme weather conditions and give myself enough lead-in time to gather and test out equipment, do my research, and train to carry the weight of my pack. Spring will be an ideal season and I can select a date closer to the time based on weather and what suits my fellow hiker/s.

STEP 4 – WRITE IT DOWN!

Yep – here it is! In the public arena too! (Talk about pressure now!) But you don’t have to go public with your goal. There’s power in simply writing it down for your own reference.

STEP 5 – KNOW YOUR WHY! COMMITMENT NOT MOTIVATION!

I want to challenge the fears that limit me. I want to connect more closely with nature and discover my part in the world, learn to trust myself and stretch my limits, tap into my inner strength, develop self-reliance, and I want to finally use the backpack I bought years ago! When I feel unmotivated, I can look back at my “why” and stay committed to my goal.

STEP 6 – BREAK IT DOWN into steps
  • Research places, people, information, equipment
  • Talk to others who might like to share the adventure with me
  • Identify and collect equipment 
  • Trial various hiking foods and equipment
  • Go on training hikes with increasing distance and weight in back pack
  • Select a date (and a couple of back-up dates in case of adverse weather, sickness etc) and book campsites if necessary
STEP 7 – STEP INTO YOUR GOAL

I’ll take each step one at a time and gradually work my way towards an overnight hike.

STEP 8 – CREATIVELY PROBLEM-SOLVE ISSUES THAT ARISE

There are some predictable problems, and other new ones might arise. But I won’t give up – I’ll use the Creative Problem-solving Train (keep reading).

With any obstacle quote

STEP 9 – REWARD YOURSELF!

External rewards can be a blast, but that feeling of success I’ll have when I’ve achieved this goal – yeah, that – that’ll be my reward 🙂

6 steps to smash my goal usingThe Problem-solving Train’

Before I even get started, I’m thinking of all the ways that I could fail! So here I’m using the Problem-solving Train to anticipate and manage the obstacles.

STEP 1 – Probable, possible and unlikely problems

Is it probable? Is it possible" Is it unlikely?Probable problems: no toilets or showers, snakes, sore back and shoulders

Possible problems: hot weather, cold weather, rain, leeches, bush ticks, insufficient drinking water, equipment too heavy or too expensive, no child care, fire danger

Unlikely problems: I might be miserable, difficulty finding a suitable hiking buddy, sickness

STEP 2- choose one probable problem and brainstorm solutions

Probable problem #1: No toilets or showers

Brainstormed solutions: Hike near, and camp overnight at a site with facilities, read about and listen to podcasts about bush toilet hygiene, read stories of overnight hikers, hold on and avoid toileting as much as possible,  take a porta-loo, find out about toileting aids for bushwalkers, have a wash down or swim instead of a shower, avoid extremely hot weather, talk to experienced hikers about bush hygiene, remind myself that if others can do it so can I, think about how clean I’ll feel when I get to shower afterwards – WOW! There sure is a lot of possibilities here!

STEP 3 – pros and cons

Most of my brainstormed solutions are quite useful and viable, although I don’t think I’ll take a porta-loo (too heavy, smelly, awkward, embarrassing) and I don’t think it’s a good idea to avoid toileting (hmmm, that could be uncomfortable and bring on health problems).

STEP 4THE BEST OPTION/S

I think it’s best to deal with this problem from multiple angles so I’m going to include several action-based and mind-based strategies in my Plan of Action to deal with this problem.

STEP 5 – PLAN OF ACTION

What's my plan of action to deal with this issue?Choose a route and campsite for my first overnight hike that has facilities

Read about and listen to podcasts about bush toilet hygiene – this could come in handy someday even if I don’t need it this time!

Talk to experienced hikers about my plans including managing bush hygiene

Read stories written by overnight hikers

Find out about lightweight toileting aids for bushwalkers

Remind myself that if others can do it, so can I!

STEP 6 – REVIEW

Once I’ve actioned my plan I can review it, even before I go on my first overnight hike. Am IWell actually, yes I can! feeling more comfortable about the issue of toileting and showering on my overnight hike? Are there any new problems I need to address? I can go back to my other brainstormed solutions, or come up with new ones. I can flex my plans to help me achieve my goal instead of simply giving up. I can push through the discomfort of the plan not working out perfectly, and tap into my determined attitude to succeed.

Keep on solving!

Once I’ve got my plans in place for all the probable and possible problems I’ve identified, it’s full steam ahead. I’m already most of the way there! It’s in this phase of identifying and then creatively solving the problems that most people get stuck. It’s this process that makes the difference on the road to success. And for me personally, it’s an exciting ride moving from surviving to thriving, making my goal of living an adventurous life a reality instead of leaving it as a whimsical dream. Stay tuned for future updates as I smash this goal!

SMART Goals WorksheetFREE GIFT! To help you clarify and action YOUR goal (whether it’s big or small or anywhere in between), download your FREE printable Create Success With SMART Goals. This handy worksheet will step you through a simplified process to identify your S.M.A.R.T. goal, your “why”, the steps you need to take to achieve your goal, any problems that might get in the way of success, and creative solutions that will propel you towards success.

Click here to download your FREE printable “Create Success With SMART Goals” from the RESOURCES tab on my website, and check out the other printables and resources while you’re there!

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Daisy Spoke aka Kathryn Walton logoKathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

9 Steps to Achieving Your Dreams and Goals

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Goals, resolutions, targets, dreams, visions….. Some of us love them. Some of us hate them. It’s understandable that you might be sceptical about them. Sometimes we set plans with good intentions and end up disappointed. Life happens in all its chaotic glory and sends our plans awry, we lose sight of our intended destination and lose hope, or we become despondent with ourselves, others or the world around us. Maybe we even forget what our goal was, or our priorities change and we let it go. Perhaps we achieve our goal but the reward at the end just isn’t there, as if the goal post has been shifted, or we’ve been deceived about the expected benefits. We can doubt our capacity to achieve what we set out to. In order to protect ourselves from further hurt and wasted energy we swear never to set New Year’s Resolutions again because they just don’t work. Sound familiar?

How I love goals! Let me count the ways! 

I love goals. I have daily lists to help me stay focused and efficient. I also have weekly, monthly, 3 month, 12 month and 3 year work goals. I’m flexible with them, and at the same Daisies reach for the suntime I respect them. I teach many individuals and groups how to use goals to enhance their mental health and wellness, and I see amazing progress when they are used effectively. I also use goals in my personal life. I love the sense of satisfaction, self-worth and achievement that comes with goals. Goals also nurture inner skills such as persistence, patience, organisation, and problem-solving which can be applied to all sorts of other situations in life, and can have a therapeutic effect on your mind.

Goal-setting is a learned skill

Effective goal-setting is a learned skill. Once you have it, the sky’s the limit! But the down-side is that if you experience a sense of failure with your goal, and if you don’t adjust your sails and use creative problem-solving, it can put you off for life. Remember to practise, persist, and problem-solve just as you would with any other skill!

9 steps to achieve your goal successfully

Step 1 – Identify an area for change

Identify one area in your life where you’d like to see some change. Select something you have some control over that centres around yourself. Focusing on things outside your control sets you up for failure. Where would you like to see a change?

  • work
  • relationshipsMake space for change - rocky expanse
  • friends
  • lifestyle
  • health
  • spirituality
  • finances
  • family
  • home
  • recreation
  • __________
Step 2 – Stay focused on the change, don’t be distracted by problematic thoughts

You might notice your thoughts jumping straight away to all the problems, barriers, obstacles and impossibilities associated with your desired change. For now, acknowledge your brain is doing its job of trying to protect you from failure, and try to let go of those thoughts. We’ll be coming back to them so stay focused on your desired change for now.

Step 3 – Select your SMART goal

SMART is an acronym to help you remember the key elements that can make or break your goal.

  1. S – Specific Know exactly what your goal is. Take the area you selected in Step 1 and narrow your goal down as much as possible. Keep it simple, clear, concise and specific. Vague, general statements about your goals are not helpful – they lack direction.
  2. M – Measurable How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal? If you’ve left your goal as a vague statement (eg “Get fit”) how will you know when you’ve achieved it? Being specific will help you to measure it (eg “Swim non-stop for 15 minutes”).
  3. A – Attainable Set yourself up for success! What are your expectations? Is your goal achievable?
  4. R – Realistic Are you being realistic with your goal? Do you have access to the resources and supports you’ll need? Do you have the energy to put into it?
  5. T – Time frame Set a time frame to achieve your goal. Deadlines help us stay focused. Be flexibile though so that you can make adjustments if your goal takes longer than expected.
Step 4 – Write it down!

This is a really powerful action to take! Writing it down makes it more real, more tangible. Share it with others if you like, or come back and look at it yourself as a daily reminder to keep you actions in flow with your goal. It’s your personal marketing plan designed to keep you coming back again and again to what’s important to you.

Step 5 – Know your WHY! Commitment not motivation!

Motivation is a very temporary and fickle thing. It can’t be relied on. Commitment is what will keep you working on your goal whether you feel motivated or not! Why is your goal important to you? For your overall health? To keep up with your kids / grandkids? To have more financial freedom? Something else? Write your WHY down next to your SMART GOAL. It will keep your compass pointed in the right direction.

Step 6 – Break it down

Write down 5-10 steps (in order) you’ll need to take to achieve your goal. If your goal is to swim non-stop for 15 minutes, the steps might include:

  • buy suitable swimming attire
  • find out about pool membership / entry fees
  • go to swimming squad once a week to improve technique and fitness
  • ask a friend to be a swimming buddy
  • swim at least 3 times a week
  • swim 1 lap non-stop
  • swim 5 minutes non-stop
  • swim 10 minutes non-stop
  • swim 15 minutes non-stop.
Step 7 – Step into your goal

Take each step one at a time.

Step 8 – Creatively problem-solve issues that arise

I can I willRemember all those problems your mind started to thinking about in Step 2? Problem-solving is where the power is (another blog later this month will look at this in more detail). Persistence makes all the difference between giving up on your goal (and yourself) and being unstoppable. Some of the problems will be predictable and you’ll be able to plan for them. Others less so.

Step 9 – Reward yourself!

What will be your reward when you’ve accomplished your plan? Will it be an inner sense of satisfaction? The simple pleasure of knowing you’ve done what you set out to do? Improved energy or a sense of wellness? Or will it be an external reward like buying yourself a new set of flippers? Or perhaps entering a race? A word of caution here to make sure your reward aligns well with your goal and that you don’t self-sabotage your efforts.

More on goals, obstacles and problem-solving soon!

You might have guessed by now that this month’s theme is all about GOALS! Over the coming weeks I’ll be sharing with you one of my own personal goals using the 9 steps listed above. I’ll be delving into the barriers I’ve identified to achieving my goal, and I’ll share with you the not-so-secret secrets to creative problem-solving so that we can get ourselves unstuck when things get tricky.

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Daisy Spoke aka Kathryn Walton logoKathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

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