action Archives

9 Steps to Achieving Your Dreams and Goals

Goals, resolutions, targets, dreams, visions….. Some of us love them. Some of us hate them. It’s understandable that you might be sceptical about them. Sometimes we set plans with good intentions and end up disappointed. Life happens in all its chaotic glory and sends our plans awry, we lose sight of our intended destination and lose hope, or we become despondent with ourselves, others or the world around us. Maybe we even forget what our goal was, or our priorities change and we let it go. Perhaps we achieve our goal but the reward at the end just isn’t there, as if the goal post has been shifted, or we’ve been deceived about the expected benefits. We can doubt our capacity to achieve what we set out to. In order to protect ourselves from further hurt and wasted energy we swear never to set New Year’s Resolutions again because they just don’t work. Sound familiar?

How I love goals! Let me count the ways!

I love goals. I have daily lists to help me stay focused and efficient. I also have weekly, monthly, 3 month, 12 month and 3 year work goals. I’m flexible with them, and at the same Daisies reach for the sun time I respect them. I teach many individuals and groups how to use goals to enhance their mental health and wellness, and I see amazing progress when they are used effectively. I also use goals in my personal life. I love the sense of satisfaction, self-worth and achievement that comes with goals. Goals also nurture inner skills such as persistence, patience, organisation, and problem-solving which can be applied to all sorts of other situations in life, and can have a therapeutic effect on your mind.

Goal-setting is a learned skill

Effective goal-setting is a learned skill. Once you have it, the sky’s the limit! But the down-side is that if you experience a sense of failure with your goal, and if you don’t adjust your sails and use creative problem-solving, it can put you off for life. Remember to practise, persist, and problem-solve just as you would with any other skill!

9 steps to achieve your goal successfully

Step 1 – Identify an area for change

Identify one area in your life where you’d like to see some change. Select something you have some control over that centres around yourself. Focusing on things outside your control sets you up for failure. Where would you like to see a change?

work
relationships
friends
lifestyle
health
spirituality
finances
family
home
recreation
__________

Step 2 – Stay focused on the change, don’t be distracted by problematic thoughts

You might notice your thoughts jumping straight away to all the problems, barriers, obstacles and impossibilities associated with your desired change. For now, acknowledge your brain is doing its job of trying to protect you from failure, and try to let go of those thoughts. We’ll be coming back to them so stay focused on your desired change for now.

Step 3 – Select your SMART goal

SMART is an acronym to help you remember the key elements that can make or break your goal.

S – Specific Know exactly what your goal is. Take the area you selected in Step 1 and narrow your goal down as much as possible. Keep it simple, clear, concise and specific. Vague, general statements about your goals are not helpful – they lack direction.
M – Measurable How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal? If you’ve left your goal as a vague statement (eg “Get fit”) how will you know when you’ve achieved it? Being specific will help you to measure it (eg “Swim non-stop for 15 minutes”).
A – Attainable Set yourself up for success! What are your expectations? Is your goal achievable?
R – Realistic Are you being realistic with your goal? Do you have access to the resources and supports you’ll need? Do you have the energy to put into it?
T – Time frame Set a time frame to achieve your goal. Deadlines help us stay focused. Be flexibile though so that you can make adjustments if your goal takes longer than expected.

Step 4 – Write it down!

This is a really powerful action to take! Writing it down makes it more real, more tangible. Share it with others if you like, or come back and look at it yourself as a daily reminder to keep you actions in flow with your goal. It’s your personal marketing plan designed to keep you coming back again and again to what’s important to you.

Step 5 – Know your WHY! Commitment not motivation!

Motivation is a very temporary and fickle thing. It can’t be relied on. Commitment is what will keep you working on your goal whether you feel motivated or not! Why is your goal important to you? For your overall health? To keep up with your kids / grandkids? To have more financial freedom? Something else? Write your WHY down next to your SMART GOAL. It will keep your compass pointed in the right direction.

Step 6 – Break it down

Write down 5-10 steps (in order) you’ll need to take to achieve your goal. If your goal is to swim non-stop for 15 minutes, the steps might include:

buy suitable swimming attire
find out about pool membership / entry fees
go to swimming squad once a week to improve technique and fitness
ask a friend to be a swimming buddy
swim at least 3 times a week
swim 1 lap non-stop
swim 5 minutes non-stop
swim 10 minutes non-stop
swim 15 minutes non-stop.

Step 7 – Step into your goal

Take each step one at a time.

Step 8 – Creatively problem-solve issues that arise

I can I will Remember all those problems your mind started to thinking about in Step 2? Problem-solving is where the power is (another blog later this month will look at this in more detail). Persistence makes all the difference between giving up on your goal (and yourself) and being unstoppable. Some of the problems will be predictable and you’ll be able to plan for them. Others less so.

Step 9 – Reward yourself!

What will be your reward when you’ve accomplished your plan? Will it be an inner sense of satisfaction? The simple pleasure of knowing you’ve done what you set out to do? Improved energy or a sense of wellness? Or will it be an external reward like buying yourself a new set of flippers? Or perhaps entering a race? A word of caution here to make sure your reward aligns well with your goal and that you don’t self-sabotage your efforts.

More on goals, obstacles and problem-solving soon!

You might have guessed by now that this month’s theme is all about GOALS! Over the coming weeks I’ll be sharing with you one of my own personal goals using the 9 steps listed above. I’ll be delving into the barriers I’ve identified to achieving my goal, and I’ll share with you the not-so-secret secrets to creative problem-solving so that we can get ourselves unstuck when things get tricky.

Discovering mountain biking as life’s ultimate parallel universe in her middle age, Kathryn Walton shares information and reflections in Daisy Spoke that connect, inspire and self-empower women to make healthy choices for themselves. She integrates her love of physical exercise, family, nature, gardening and creative arts with her professional background in mental health social work to facilitate change with individuals, groups and communities of women who are committed to living life to the full.

Have you signed up yet?

In the meantime, if you haven’t already signed up for Grounded Inspiration, now’s a great time to do that. Never miss out on the latest news, inspiration or blog posts! And be the first to hear about my new releases throughout the year as I develop and publish programs to enhance women’s wellness and professional knowledge. Sign up here!

Recipe for Success and Happiness: getting the mix right!

If you pick up a newspaper or magazine, read the news online, or scroll through social media, you’re sure to be confronted with the pros and cons of the eternal pursuit of happiness. It presents a bit like the fad diets that come and go, and it preys on the vulnerable – those of us who think we should / could / would be happier if only ….. And so much of it feels out of our own control.

The fact is that we live in a world of uncertainty, unpredictability and chaos. It’s been this way since the beginning of time and the world of nature continues to operate this way. In humankind’s attempts to bring order and control to the mess we perceive around us and in our internal world, we can be forgiven for expecting to reach utopian happiness once we’ve got everything sorted.

But the world isn’t that co-operative! The world as we know it can change at any time, and our intention to remain cool, calm and collected seemingly go out the window, leaving us feeling even more vulnerable and out of control. Unexpected changes come in many forms including sickness, injury, job loss, relationship upheavals and extreme weather.

Now this is all sounding terribly doom and gloom so far! How can one possibly connect with happiness if there isn’t really any hope of controlling the instability around us? This brings up the question “What is happiness?” and subsequently “Are we looking in the right place?”

Whilst I’m not going to delve any further into those philosophical questions here, I am going to suggest that whatever and wherever happiness is, there are two other critical elements we can focus on that will stand us in good steed when it comes to adapting to the world we live in: the skills to be RESILIENT, and the skills to THRIVE. The important thing to remember is that these are skills that all of us can learn and continue to develop throughout our lives.

Resilience is built upon a solid foundation of self-care. When we are resilient, we have the capacity to not only survive what life throws at us, but to thrive. To be able to flourish in an environment of uncertainty and unpredictability surely leads us towards success and happiness.

It can be very confusing trying to identify the ‘ingredients’ that go together to make the best ‘recipe’ for resilience and happiness – our world is full of distractions and quick-fix ideas. So, here I’d like to offer you some of the action-based ingredients that stand out through the ages and in all parts of world, and that are now backed up by rigorous research. In the next blog I’ll outline some of the very powerful mind-based strategies you can add to your mix to really step into your strength.

Recipe for “Success and Happiness”

Ingredients
1 daily dose of your preferred form of stillness (eg meditation, reflection time, quiet time)
30 – 60 minutes of moderate to high intensity exercise per day (best time is early morning)
A bucket load of physical activity (and limit your sedentary activity)
A pinch of social activity (to your own personal taste)
Lots of water
Food that will serve your body and mind
1 nightly dose of quality sleep
Daily mind challenges
A mixed dose of adventure, fun and laughter

Method
Mix all ingredients together until a satisfying consistency is found. You may need to experiment to get it ‘just right’ for your needs. It is recommended that you regularly review your mixture and adjust as required.

Lastly, “Success and Happiness” is more likely to flourish in an environment where the recipe is shared among others rather than hidden away. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a rut, feeling discouraged or lacking hope, I can guarantee you’re not alone (myself included). The crucial point to remember is that there are always actions we can take to build our resilience, improve our physical and mental strength, and get back on the road to happiness.

I have an EXCITING OFFER for you!
To celebrate the launch of my NEW WEBSITE, you will receive a FREE mini-workbook “Success & Happiness” when you SUBSCRIBE to my email newsletter “Grounded Inspiration”. This mini-workbook will guide you through a simple step-by-step process to create YOUR OWN unique customised recipe that will enhance your RESILIENCE during times of uncertainty and move you towards SUCCESS and HAPPINESS. By choosing and committing to the actions and habits that work FOR you instead of AGAINST you, you will find yourself THRIVING, not just surviving.

So what are you waiting for? Follow this link to SUBSCRIBE and your FREE mini-workbook will be ready for you to download within seconds!

The 4 Foundation Stones of WELLNESS

This blog post summarises some of the information shared in a recent ROUND THE TABLE mini-workshop. To sign up for information about future workshops, click here: https://www.condamineassist.com.au/wp/mailing-list-sign-up/

Buildings don’t stand up for long without a strong foundation. Mental health and wellness are no different. By strengthening the foundation stones, we create greater resilience so that when life gets tough, we’re better able to weather the storms without crashing down.

So, what are these foundation stones of wellness? There are four main foundation stones that I work on with my clients as well as in my own personal life. Each of the stones support each other – they are interlinked – and they are a fabulous place to start building or renovating wellness at any time! The foundations are based on solid evidence that is routinely used in the mental health sector.

1. Movement

The latest Physical Activity and Sedentary Behaviour Guidelines can be found here:

http://www.health.gov.au/internet/main/publishing.nsf/content/health-pubhlth-strateg-phys-act-guidelines

Basically, people are designed to move … a lot. When we don’t move enough, we are at greater risk of switching into a depressed or anxious state. It’s simple biology. Get moving, get active, get off the sofa, and move as much as you can and often as you can. For most of us it’s recommended to aim for about an hour of moderate intensity exercise or activity each day, and limit our screen time to 2 hours per day. The combined mental and physical health benefits of exercise / activity cannot be replaced by any medication. If you are in pain, or have limited movement, injuries, or chronic disease, the best idea is to do what you can. Remember always check with your doctor or health professional if you have any concerns about your health, exercise, and resting needs.

2. Sleep

Sleep is often a problem that arises when something else (in fact, anything else!) isn’t quite right. Good quality sleep is needed for restoration of our minds and bodies. Sleep problems include too much, too little, and interrupted sleep, as well as feeling fatigued on waking. There are plenty of things you can do to try to improve your sleep, but remember that there is a huge variation of what is considered ‘normal’. First of all, there are some health issues which may be contributing such as sleep apnoea, snoring and medication. If you suspect these to be problems, check with your doctor. How much caffeine, alcohol and tobacco are you using? How are you managing your everyday stresses? Your relationships? Issues with pain management or other health issues? Is you mind staying awake when your body is trying to sleep? Are you able to rest peacefully even if you can’t sleep? What routine do you use to prepare for sleep? Are you relaxing and de-stressing during the day? The list is almost endless!

3. Nutrition

There’s some value in the old sayings “You are what you eat” and “Healthy body, healthy mind”, although I acknowledge it’s not quite as simple as that! When it comes to nutrition in the media, it can be very confusing. So, let’s cut to the evidence-based framework that’s used by dieticians in Australia. These guidelines provide clear direction about what and how much we need to eat to reduce the risk of disease and illness. Many people I work with are surprised when they realise how much 1 serve of vegetables looks like, and the proportions of the different food groups we need to aim for each day. A dietician once said to me that we should all aim to eat a rainbow everyday, if not at every meal, so this is another tip I often share to encourage people to eat a wide variety of foods. Some nutrients are thought to assist with mood management and sleep, but for most of us, we’ll be getting these simply by eating a well balanced diet. Oh, and don’t forget to limit your alcohol consumption and drink plenty of water! And check the guidelines here: https://www.eatforhealth.gov.au

4. Mind

Mind health encompasses basically everything about life and living that is not visible – thoughts, feelings, spirituality, beliefs, assumptions, self-awareness, attachments to things / people / places, and inner skills to manage our mood and behaviours. And that’s just to name a few! Mindfulness skills training is a valuable component of mind health. This is something that everyone can practise either formally (eg using mindfulness meditation) or informally (eg noticing with curiosity and without judgement what you see, hear, feel, taste, smell while eating lunch). Practices such as these train our minds to pay attention to what is happening internally and externally. We come to notice the patterns of thinking and behaving that we automatically engage in. And with this knowledge comes the power of choosing something else.

So, the next time you notice you’re feeling down or anxious, check your foundation stones and make the adjustment you need. Strengthening one foundation stone will strengthen the whole structure, but to maximise resilience overall, you’ll need to work on all four of them. If you don’t have the skills to do this yourself, ask for help. Team up with your doctor or health professional to build the best YOU that’s possible!

INSPIRE Mentoring Programs for Women

INSPIRE combines the warmth, reflection and connection of Condamine Assist’s much-loved retreat days with the essential elements of a skills training program to provide you with support and guidance as you journey towards your professional or personal goals.

INSPIREPostcard4x6

FREE start-up sessions are being offered for a limited time. Find out how INSPIRE Group and Individual Mentoring Programs for Women can guide and support you as you work towards change or growth in your work or personal life. Contact Kathryn (kwalton@condamineassist.com.au) to arrange a FREE 45 minute start-up session for yourself or a small group of friends.

INSPIRE will commence in August 2016 with the launch of the foundation group “INSPIRE: Now has the power!”

INSPIRE: Now has the power! will:
• Bring clarity to your professional and personal goals
• Empower you to bring your goals into reality
• Create a safe space for you to explore your inner world of thought
• Support you as you develop a deeper awareness of the power of your own thought
• Challenge the mind habits that get in the way of achieving your goals
• Provide a stepping stone into your future by focusing on the power of ‘now’
• Engage with your inner inspiration and empowerment
• Connect you with other women who are stepping into their power of ‘now’

What format and structure does INSPIRE use?

When you participate in INSPIRE, you will have access to 4 x 90 minute face-to-face structured sessions with a small group of women held fortnightly in Warwick and facilitated by Kathryn Walton. A group using SKYPE may be offered in the near future as an alternative for women unable to access face-to-face sessions – please email Kathryn if this interests you! (kwalton@condamineassist.com.au)

You will be provided with inspiring and enlightening pre-session preparation material so that you get the most out of the face-to-face sessions.

Your post-session reflections and action-based tasks will bring your goals closer to your reality.

A private online discussion group will be available to you and other members of your group program so that you can keep the conversations and inspiration rolling along between sessions.

You will have access to individual online support with your facilitator, Kathryn Walton, for the duration of the program.

What investment do I need to make?

The time and energy you commit to INSPIRE: Now has the power! is in itself an empowering investment in yourself and your future. Your commitment includes 6 hours of face-to-face mentoring, pre-session preparation, post-session activities, and private group and individual online support over a 2 month period. And what an amazing investment that will be in your personal and work life as you literally begin living the reality of your goals!

To celebrate the launch of INSPIRE, a special rate is being offered. Your financial commitment to this inaugural program is only $290. This is a unique opportunity to engage in an inspiring and empowering program that is valued at over $490. (And an added bonus is that you may be able to claim professional development points for work-related mentoring, as well as claim expenses against your income for tax purposes – check with your employer, association and / or tax accountant).

If you have a keen commitment to ongoing growth and development you may choose to follow up with the subsequent program INSPIRE: Into the future! which will take you further on your journey of exploration, resilience-building, sustainability and inspiration.

How does individual mentoring work?

Individual mentoring is available as an alternative to the group programs. Individual programs are uniquely tailored to meet your particular need. A regular commitment to face-to-face sessions, pre-session preparation, post-session activities and online interaction will maximise the benefits for you over a minimum period of 2 months.

How do I find out more, sign up for a free start-up session for myself or a small group of friends, or register my interest?

If any of the above information sparks your interest, send Kathryn an email kwalton@condamineassist.com.au or phone 07-46670171.

Remember that limited free start-up sessions are available to give you and / or a small group of your friends a taste of INSPIRE before making a full commitment. I’d love to hear from you. Please share this information among your friends and colleagues who may be interested in this opportunity.